Anders, almost 3, is playing with Devonna, his new babysitter. I come out of my room and Anders sees me. He runs to me and says, "Mama, I don't like Devonna."
Devonna feels hurt and starts to remind Anders of all the fun they have had together this morning. I tell Devonna that what Anders meant to say is that he has suddenly realized that he misses his mom and he would rather play with his mom right now than Devonna. I confirm with Anders that this is true.
Many kids, when they are done playing with someone, will say something like, "You're stupid." Anders has never heard name-calling so he used an "I" statement instead. (This made me happy!) Either way, it all goes back to NVC, to listening to one another and respecting each other's feelings instead of trying to defend ourselves or convince someone he doesn't feel what he says he does.