After two months here, I am headed back to Los Angeles. The most interesting thing is that I am totally sad to be going and would actually opt to stay here if I didn't need to go back to tackle a post-fire kitchen renovation in our Los Angeles home. The gulch isn't even that nice yet! My room is nice but the bathroom still leaves a lot to be desired, and we haven't even started construction on the dining hall. But none of that matters--my son is happier than ever and I am more relaxed than I have been since elementary school summer vacation.
What Happens When You Have a Full-Time Maid
Week 1: Your toddler makes a mess and you clean it up.
Week 2: Your toddler makes a mess and you think, "I have a maid; I don't actually have to clean this up!" while you clean it up.
Week 3: You ask your maid to help you clean it up while feeling guilty and thanking her repeatedly.
Week 4: Your maid automatically cleans up your toddler's messes and you let go and realize it's okay.
Week 5: Your toddler makes a mess and you feel so free of annoyance! He can make all the messes he wants because you don't have to clean it up. You love and relish this newfound freedom.
Week 6: Your toddler makes a mess and you literally don't see it because it's not your problem.
Week 7: You start thinking, "Me??!! Clean? Noooo, I don't clean." And then you're like--wait, what just happened?!
Week 8: It's time to go home and… you realize life may not be worth living without a full time maid….
What Happens When You Have a Full-Time Cook
Week 1: Having a cook is delightful! Like eating at a restaurant! You relish every meal.
Week 2: You feel so relaxed. You had no idea how much time you used to spend planing, shopping for, preparing, and serving food. But you are missing your own food a little bit and start complaining about the cook to your husband.
Week 3: You are still loving all the free time but you are pretty sure you could make everything better than this guy--and you do. On his day off you show off your skills.
Week 4: Having remember how much work it is to plan, shop for, prepare, and serve a meal, you decide that even though you can do a better job, you would rather complain about your cook than be the cook. You just need a break from him every now and then, so on his days off you look forward to going out to eat.
Week 5: Going out to eat isn't as much fun as you remember it being--all the dressing up, driving, ordering, and waiting--it's so much less relaxing than being served at home. Your husband asks if you miss cooking and … you don't. You start to wonder if you ever really liked cooking. Maybe you just learned to like a necessary evil.
Week 6: One day you want a snack and you stare at the fridge in confusion. You seem to have forgotten how to open it. Suddenly your cook appears and asks if you would like your usual favorite snack brought to your office. Whew, crisis averted!
Week 7: Since going to a restaurant is too much trouble and opening the fridge is too much work, on your cook's day off, you decide to just not eat.
Week 8: You make sure your cook trains your maid to cook on his days off so you never have to go near the kitchen again. Unfortunately, it's time to go home at the end of the week and… you realize life may not be worth living without a full time cook.