Rational Baby Registry - Part 4 - All the Things on the Baby Gear Section of Baby Registry Lists

A note on health: I do try to limit the toxins to which my baby is exposed, but I don't want to drive myself crazy, so I am super anal about the toxicity of places where he spends most of his time (like his bed) and less worried about toxic things that he won't be around that often (like an outside play pen).

Here is what Babies'R'Us calls the "must haves" of baby gear:

INFANT CAR SEAT & TRAVEL SYSTEM, CONVERTIBLE CAR SEAT & BOOSTER CAR SEAT

Toxic: The more time a baby spends in a car seat, the greater his chances of dying from SIDS. There is no definitive proof as to why this is, but what scientists do know is that in a car seat, infants are scrunched up, making it more difficult for them to breathe and that car seats are highly toxic and famous for off-gassing. The wise parent will make sure her child spends as little time as possible in a car seat.

Health issue: Newborns are most comfortable lying on their backs. According to Dr. Emmi Pikler in Bulletin Number Fourteen, this is also the best position for proper muscular development. Any time a baby spends in a "propped" position, his muscles are forming and developing badly. So again, the wise parent will make sure her child spends as little time as possible in a car seat.

For these reasons, I don't recommend buying an infant car seat at all and especially not a "travel system". Infant car seats with travel systems are made so that you can strap your baby in and never take him out. You put him in the car seat in the house, take him like that to the car, drive somewhere, take him out of the car (still in his car seat) and click that car seat right into a stroller, go for a walk, let him doze in the stroller/car seat while you have lunch at a restaurant.... Your baby can spend most of his day unable to breathe easily and only able to breathe toxic air.

Only uninformed parents carry their newborns around in their car seats. For people who know better, for people who plan to only have their child strapped into a car seat while in the car, there is no point in purchasing both an infant car seat and a convertible car seat since all of the nicer convertible car seats accommodate newborns all the way through booster age. Not to mention, that if you are buying one car seat instead of two, you will have more room in your budget to get something nice.

As for the booster car seat--your kid won't need this for years. Why register for something so that it can sit in your garage gathering dust for three to five years? The laws may change by then!

What I did: When choosing a car seat, I looked for safety first. But, knowing that eighty percent of car seats are not installed correctly (which makes them useless), looking for a user friendly and easy-to-install car seat was my number two priority.

After much deliberation between the Britax Boulevard, the MaxiCosi Pria and the Orbit Baby Infant Car Seat, I decided on the MaxiCosi Pria. First I decided against the Britax because it has sweater-snagging velcro on the straps. I then decided on the Pria because I could use it for much longer than the Orbit (the Orbit seat went from 4-30 pounds and the Pria seat went from 4-70). So far, I have been very happy with this choice.

With baby number 2 I did the Clek Fllo Convertbile Car Seat which I like even more than the Pria, but they are both great.

Note: The first lay-flat car seats are already on the market in Europe but are still illegal in this country. When they are legal here, they will be worth your consideration.

CAR SEAT CUSHIONING, HEAD SUPPORT, FULL-BODY SUPPORT, NECK WINGS & STRAP COVERS

Unnecessary! If you buy a nice car seat, it will come with all of these things built-in.

CAR SEAT ACCESSORIES: SUN SHADE, BABY MIRROR, CAR SEAT CUP HOLDER, CAR SEAT TOYS, CAR SEAT LEVELER

These are personal preference items. I did not buy any of them except sun shades for my windows which I LOVE and should have had in my car all these years even without children!

ADDITIONAL INFANT CAR SEAT BASE

Unnecessary! Since I did not buy an infant car seat, I was also saved this expense. My husband and I considered getting two car seats, one for each car, but then we decided it was easier to just make my car the "family car". I keep my car stocked with the stroller, backpack, a change of clothes, diapers, a nursing cover, a picnic blanket, water bottles, etc. It's nice to only have to worry about the inventory in one car.

TRADITIONAL STROLLER, LIGHTWEIGHT STROLLER, ALL-TERRAIN/JOGGER STROLLER, DOUBLE STROLLER

Health issue: The best stroller for a newborn is one that allows him to lay flat.

Toxic! But even strollers that enable your baby to lay flat are made of highly toxic things and babies should not spend very much time in them, similar to a car seat.

What I did: After much research, I settled on the Nuna Mixx. It is less toxic than most brands and came with a lay-flat basinet that my baby slept in while we were out. Once he graduated to the regular stroller, the lay-flat option was incredibly useful for nap times. I was very happy with that aspect of this stroller. What I did not like about this stroller was that it is bulky and annoying to transport. Also, I did not buy the travel case for it which was stupid as American Airlines broke this stroller while we were traveling.

None of my kids have cared about strollers after about 18 months. They like walking! I ended up buying a Mac Sports Collapsible Outdoor Utility Wagon to bring groceries in from the car at some point and this wagon has ended up being my favorite stroller as it is so easy to fold up and put in the car and I can pull a toddler in it along with a ton of other stuff and if I am out and about my toddler can sleep it it -- it's flat too. But it does not have wheel locks, so legally, I have to advise you to never place your child into such a thing. 

STROLLER RAIN COVER, NETTING & SUNSHADE

Geographical issue: I live in LA. I cannot comment on the necessity of these things and have zero personal experience with any of them. Except sunshades. My stroller had a sunshade and I did use it.


STROLLER ACCESSORIES: MOMMY HOOK, CUP HOLDER, SNACK HOLDER, STROLLER TOYS

Philosophical issue 1: If you are going for a walk, go for walk. If it's time for a snack, have a snack. No need to do both things at once. That does not teach good habits. That teaches chaos and mindlessness (there will be more on my eating philosophy later).

Philosophical issue 2: Stroller toys?! For your baby, the world looks like a crazy foreign country full of sights and smells he has never seen. Looking out at the world is the only entertainment your baby needs.

ENTERTAINERS & ACTIVITY JUMPERS

Philosophical issue: The name alone should stop you from buying these. What a terrible thing to do to a baby--force him to sit in something that he can't get out of with a mess of toys in his face that he can't escape from even if he wants to. These contraptions are perfect for future Epsilons: prison with meaningless entertainment. They do not belong in the home of someone who believes in freedom and wants to raise someone who thinks.

Health issue: According to Dr. Emmi Pikler in Bulletin Number Fourteen any time you prop your baby into a position into which he cannot get on his own, you are encouraging poor muscular formation. Babies who strengthen their legs before their strengthen their cores will walk early, yes, but they will be clumsy and their posture will only continue to get worse as they get older.

What I did: I was given one of these. I sold it.

I was religious about never propping Anders. He learned to walk properly. Was strong, graceful and never fell. With Henrik, though I never propped him, Anders enjoyed holding his little fingers and helping him to "walk" so much that I allowed it. I should not have. Henrik was a terribly dangerous baby. He learned to walk before he could balance and fell all the time. Anders never hit his head even once a baby or toddler. Henrik fell so often and hit his head so often I am worried about his future IQ.

SWING: FULL SIZE & TRAVEL

Health issue: Propping your baby into artificial positions is not good for his health--from scrunched up lungs to improper muscular development.

Toxic: These are just as toxic as car seats.

Practical issue: Rocking babies to sleep--and especially by a machine instead of by a person--is a terrible habit to get your baby into. A baby who learns to fall asleep being rocked will come to need that in order to fall asleep. This means you will be getting up 5-10 times every night for months to rock your baby back to sleep every time he wakes up. Better to teach your baby to fall asleep without motion.

If you want to rock your baby to sleep because you enjoy it, get a rocking chair and rock your baby but don't hire a "machine nanny" to do it for you--and be clear on what you are doing: you are rocking your baby for your enjoyment. If your baby comes to need it because you have made it a habit and you no longer enjoy it, stop doing it. Instead of putting him in a toxic cloud that will give him a crappy body, teach him to go to sleep without motion.

Philosophical issue: When used as a toy, swings are noisy and overstimulating. They are active toys that entertain passive babies. This is not a wise kind of toy to have.

WALKERS

Health issue: See what I have said about propping and body development above or read Emmi Pikler's Bulletin Number Fourteen.

Philosophical issue: Maria Montessori supported walkers as long as the baby could use it volitionally i.e. no toy that the baby cannot get in and out of on his own. Magda Gerber believed that babies should not be encouraged to do things that they cannot actually do. If your baby can't walk--he can't walk. He doesn't need something to help him pretend he can. I am a big fan of reality so I am with Magda on this one.

BOUNCER (CHAIR)

Health issue: See what I have said about propping and body development above or read Emmi Pikler's Bulletin Number Fourteen.

Philosophical issue: When all a baby can do is lie on his back, that is all he should do. There is plenty for him to do on his back and there is plenty of time for him to sit when he is older.

What I did: One of these chairs was given to me. I removed the toys and used it as a chair. I put my baby in every now and then during a festive meal when I wanted him to be able to be part of the group and could not have him on my lap. I never used it to bounce him or as an entertainment center. I would not have purchased one.

With my second baby if I wanted him to be part of the group I just put him in his stroller and wheeled him over.

PLAY YARD, PLAY YARD SHEETS & PLAY YARD NETTING

Practical issue: There is no point in putting an immobile baby in a pen. Once a baby is mobile, the pen has to be, at minimum, 4' x 4' for proper body development. 

Toxic! Most of these pens are made from toxic plastic materials.

Philosophical issue: Many of these pens come with built in entertainment. That makes this a toy which harkens back to--active toys make passive baby brains; passive toys make active baby brains.

What I did: A "pack'n'play" was given to me. Because it is not the proper size for a mobile baby, I did not use it and am still not willing to use it. I keep it in case I want to try using it while traveling. I will update this post if it ends up coming in handy! For now, I recommend skipping this purchase.

Update: I have never found these to be necessary. 

HIGH CHAIR, HIGH CHAIR COVER, EXTRA HIGH CHAIR PAD, SPLAT MAT & BOOSTER SEAT

Philosophical issue: Both Maria Montessori and Magda Gerber believe children should never be put in something they cannot get out of on their own.  Both recommend waiting until the child is really ready to eat (around nine months) and then providing him with his own child-sized table and chair.

My story: In the last decade I spent caring for other people's children, I found the whole high-chair feeding process to be loathsome. When my son was just starting to take an interest in foods (around six months) I let him taste things from my lap. When he could sit on his own I used the Stokke Tripp Trapp High Chair, with the Baby Set. He used this chair for many years so that he could be the right height at the table.

BABY CARRIERS: FRAMED, FRONT & HIP CARRIERS, WRAPS

Newborns love these. Older babies not so much. My back not so much.

My mom loved the backpacking backpacks with external metal frames that puts all the weight into your hip band/legs. Apparently her babies lived in those things and she was able to get a lot done with the baby on her back. My babies just weren't into it. They had too much to do and explore I guess.