Once upon a time there was a Little Red Hen who invited her
three best friends—a Dog, a Cat, and a Duck--to come and live with her.
The Little Red was very excited to live with her friends.
She thought, “I don’t have to clean my house by myself anymore! How much more
fun it will be to clean with my friends than alone! To take care of the garden together
and sweep and do dishes together! And it will take so much less time for four
of us to care for one house than for each of us to care for our own houses!”
The Little Red Hen did not discuss what she envisioned with
her friends. They had no idea what her expectations were. And she had no idea
what their expectations were. So after they moved in together, the Little Red
Hen was unpleasantly surprised to find that the Dog napped all day, the Cat
played with string all day, and the Duck swam in the pool all day. No one did
any work but her!
The poor Little Red Hen found herself washing all the dishes—even
dishes that she did not dirty. She found herself sweeping the floor all by
herself—even when she was not the one who dirtied it. And she worked in the
garden all by herself—even though everyone ate the food that grew there. The
Little Red Hen felt very disappointed, sad, and frustrated.
So obviously:
She asked her friends for help.
She asserted her needs.
She explained her feelings.
She did all of these.
But her friends just made excuses,
and in a rather manipulative way,
claimed the Hen was being too sensitive,
and their behavior was okay!
The Little Red Hen didn’t know what to do, so nothing
changed. She continued to do all the household chores by herself. One day while
she was working in the garden she came across a grain of Einkorn wheat. She looooved
sourdough bread, and so did her friends.
“Look guys!” She said. “Look what I found! Will you help me
plant it?”
“Nooooo!” said the Dog who was about to take a nap.
“Nooooo!” said the Cat who was playing with some string.
“Nooooo!” said the Duck who was swimming in the pool.
“Guys!,” said the Little Red Hen, sighing heavily, “I would
really like some help.”
She tried to get through to her friends.
She asserted her needs.
She said, “I’m feeling frustrated you guys!”
She did all of these.
But her friends just made jokes and laughed,
and in a rather dishonest way,
said they would be helping if they could,
but they just had no time today.
The Little Red Hen didn’t know what to do. She was starting
to not really like her friends anymore. She planted the wheat all by herself.
She watered it every day, cultivated the soil around it to prevent weed growth,
and after not too long, a big, beautiful plant was ready to be harvested.
“Look guys!” She said. “The wheat is ready to be harvested! Who
will help me so that we can have fresh bread soon?”
“Not me!” said the Dog who was about to take a nap.
“Not me!” said the Cat who was playing with some string.
“Not me!” said the Duck who was swimming in the pool.
The Little Red Hen was feeling so lonely and disappointed
that she burst into tears.
She told her friends her feelings.
She asserted her needs.
She said, “This isn’t what I thought living with you guys
would be like!”
She did all of these.
Her friends didn’t make eye contact with her;
they looked the other way,
They said that she was being too emotional,
And crying wasn’t okay!
Then they shrugged their shoulders,
and so very hard they tried
to convince the Hen to repress what she was feeling
and keep it all inside.
The Little Red Hen was very disturbed. She knew it was
important for her health to cry when she needed to. She knew it was imperative
that she express her feelings and needs. And she also knew she could not go on
living with the Dog, the Cat, or the Duck. She thought about what she should do
while she harvested the wheat and while she ground it into flour. Then she put
some of the flour in a cup of water so that it would ferment and develop a rich
sour flavor. Each day she added a little more flour and water to the bubbling mass.
By the end of the week it was time to add the rest of the flour, make the
dough, and bake it. And by the end of the week, the Little Red Hen had decided
to try to communicate with her friends one last time.
“Heeeey guys!” She said, “Who wants to help me make bread?!”
“Not me!” said the Dog who was about to take a nap.
“Not me!” said the Cat who was playing with a ball of
string.
“Not me!” said the Duck who was swimming in the pool.
The Little Red Hen got angry.
She had too many unmet needs.
She yelled, “You realize I can’t go on like this right?
I am not going to keep supporting you three.”
They got very defensive and said
Oh you have to
They explained they just couldn’t work like she could
They couldn’t do what she could do
The Little Red Hen angrily stormed into the kitchen to put
the bread in the oven. She now knew that these animals were not her friends.
They were entitled moochers. And she knew what she had to do.
Pretty soon the whole house smelled of freshly baked bread.
Of course the dog woke up from his nap and strolled into the kitchen, and the
cat stopped playing with her string and flounced into the kitchen, and the duck
stopped swimming and waddled into the kitchen.
The Little Red Hen took the bread out of the oven and looked
at them.
“Are you hoping to help me eat this bread?” She asked.
“Yes!” said the Dog.
“Yes!” said the Cat
“Oh yeah!” said the Duck.
“I don’t think so!” said the Little Red Hen. “You didn’t
help me care for the wheat, or grind the flour, or ferment the dough. You
didn’t help me make the bread. So you will not be helping me eat it. And
moreover, you have not helped to maintain this house, so you shall not be
living in it any longer.”
The Little Red Hen felt instantly relieved. For so long she
had not stood up for herself. She cut herself a slice of bread and began to eat
it. It was very tasty.
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