A Proposal for a Meaningful Halloween Ritual/Party

I love meaningful rituals--they feel magical--and I love holidays as a reason to have them. One day I will hold Halloween celebrations at the Gulch thus:

There are many jack-o'-lanterns (that we made earlier) leading up a forest trail to the top of the mountain. They are lit and look magical in the darkness.

We begin as soon as soon as the sun sets. Each guest has an appointed time to meet the host, Death, alone.

Death, wearing a long black cloak and a mask, greets the guest thus:

"At midnight all is blackness. We sleep, like babies in the womb. And then the dawn, we wake and the morning brings with it the brightness and energy of childhood. By noon the sun is beating down upon us; our energy has waned, but we continue on with our work – there is still much to get done. Then it is evening; we are glad the day is at an end and proud (perhaps) of what we have accomplished; we feast. Darkness falls, and we head to bed, appreciating the comfort our loved ones bring.     This is also the year. It starts in darkness, quiet, the womb. The world wakes up, the energy of spring. The summer is toilsome, work, exhausting. Then the harvest, lovely, and we are ready for rest, the cold and dark – death.     There is a rhythm to life. We die every night; we die every year; we die in practice.     Most likely, we will die how we lived. This is the path for those who would live –and die – as heroes."

Death's arm opens out in, inviting the guest to leave him and walk the path up the mountain alone. The hopeful hero heads to the base of the mountain, the first jack-o-lantern. A second cloaked figure stands there, at the base of the trail. When the guest approaches, he says:

"Before long you will be no one, and nowhere. Like all the things you see now. All the people now living." (Marcus Aurelius, Meditations)

The cloaked figure invites the guest to repeat this quote back to him, to memorize it. Then he nods the guest on, perhaps handing him a goblet of spiced cider or a golden chocolate coin to enjoy on his journey.

Up the path the guest walks alone toward the first light he sees in the distance, another pumpkin with a magnificent, glowing face. He arrives. There stands another cloaked figure. This one says:

"It is our destiny to perish. So that new things can be born. To decompose, so that our atoms can be recomposed into something new." (Marcus Aurelius, Meditations)

Again the guest is invited to repeat this back, to memorize it. Again the cloaked figure invites the guest to proceed up the path alone.

At the third light, another cloaked figure says:

"All too often families and pastors and even medical staff assume that all a dying person wants is to be comfortable. Once the death sentence is passed, we tend to fluff up the pillows and hope, for his or her sake, that death will come soon. We are terribly anxious about pain and seek the latest medications, most of which deaden the mind as well as the body. I am not prepared to say that this is all wrong. But I do believe we have our priorities confused. Someone's life is about to end. Surely, there are important things for that person to say and do before he dies. [As you continue up the path, ponder this: Is there anything you would like to say or do before you die that you would like to say or do tonight?]" (Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, Death: The Final Stage of Growth)

Again the cloaked figure invites the guest to proceed up the path alone.

At the fourth light, a new cloaked figure says:

"Hospitals are institutions committed to the healing process, and dying patients are a threat to that defined role…. The human being who is dying is inexorably perceived to be a failure to the health professionals.... [This is tragic because] what dying people need is acceptance, they need to know it's okay for them to die, that it is natural, that they have not failed, that everyone will be okay. They need permission to die. The other thing dying people need is company, just someone to sit with them, because they are feeling scared and company is comforting.... You cannot help the dying until you have acknowledged how their fear of dying disturbs you and brings up your most uncomfortable fears.... If you don't look at and accept that face of panic and fear in yourself, how will you be able to bear it in the person in front of you.... If you are attached and cling to the dying person, you can bring him or her a lot of unnecessary heartache and make it very hard for the person to let go and die peacefully. [Worse, throwing a dying person on your shoulders and carrying them, insisting that they do not die, helps neither them nor you make their death journey meaningful, beautiful, or easy. Can you be comfortable enough with death so that you do not rob the dying of their death journey? Of their chance of having a heroic death? A death that is about them and acceptance and not about fear or you and your discomforts? As you continue up the path: Imagine you are at the bedside of the person you love most in the world, and he or she is dying. Can you give him or her the gift of permission and company?" (Sogyal Rinpoche, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying)

Again the cloaked figure invites the guest to proceed up the path alone.

At the fifth light, a new cloaked figure says:

"There was a young man who dedicated nineteen years of his life to caring for his dying mother. He was young when she developed Alzheimers and forgot who she was, needed diapers, and full-time care. He put off his life, his education, his career, marriage, and having children. He spent a fortune, everything he had in time and money, caring for her. He had a falling out with his sister about it. His sister wanted their mother to be allowed to die. The man couldn't do other than what he did. He had to care for his mother; that is what a good son would do, he thought. But when asked if he would ever want one of his children to care for him the way he had cared for his mother he said, 'Never. I would never do that to anyone. I would not want that.' And he cried. Why do we assume anyone would want that? Have you clearly communicated to your loved ones your wishes, so that they do not make this mistake? This is especially important if you have money. If you have money to leave behind and you don't communicate your wishes to your family, you may be choosing dementia in a nursing home on endless pharmaceuticals for twenty years, which is, in effect, choosing to disinherit your children and leave everything to Big Pharma. "

Again the cloaked figure invites the guest to proceed up the path alone.

At the sixth light, the new cloaked figure says:

"The invalid is a parasite on society. In a certain state it is indecent to go on living. To vegetate on in cowardly dependence on physicians and medicaments after the meaning of life, the right to life, has been lost ought to entail the profound contempt of society. Physicians, in their turn, ought to be the communicators of this contempt – not prescriptions, but every day a fresh does of disgust with their patients.... [The hero wants] To die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly. Death of one's own free choice, death at the proper time, with a clear head and with joyfulness, consummated in the midst of children and witnesses: so that an actual leave-taking is possible while he who is leaving is still there.... He who has a goal and an heir will want death at the right time for his goal and heir. And from reverence for his goal and heir he will hang no more dry wreaths on the sanctuary of life. [As you continue up the path: Do you have a goal and heir?] (Friedrich Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols)

Again the cloaked figure invites the guest to proceed up the path alone.

Now the guest reaches the top of the mountain. There is a fire, a bubbling cauldron full of sweet smelling cider, a feast laid out on a table, and one last cloaked figure who says:

"When I first began studying the Viking myths, I thought Valhalla was similar to Heaven, a tool for those in power to use. Heaven was for the good boys and girls who did as their priests instructed. Valhalla, I thought, was for those who died in battle as their king bid them. But as I delved more into the Viking mythology I realized that Valhalla is a heroic death, heldentod. A heroic death is a meaningful death, a chosen death. To go to Valhalla one cannot die of sickness or old age; one cannot die in fear. He chooses his death and gives it as a gift to those he loves, showing them how to die, how to die beautifully, gloriously, bravely, and meaningfully. Every night the hero goes to bed exhausted, having worked so hard that he is all used up and looking forward to nothing more than rest. The same can be said about the twilight of his life. Are you working hard enough to look forward to your final rest? Sogyal Rinpoche said, "For someone who has prepared and practiced, death comes not as a defeat but as a triumph, the crowning and most glorious moment of his life." ( The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying)

The cloaked figure shows the guest to the open, simple, wooden coffin under a tree nearby. If the guest wishes, he may lie in it for a time, meditating on his future death.

Once all the guests have arrived we will feast. We will toast fallen heroes and loved ones, share stories of heroic deaths and at the end, perhaps share the story of Beowulf.

Then we will feast and dance and sing songs.

The next morning at brunch, the host will say:

"Until the last hundred years it was considered very rude to not be aware of your own impending death and to not prepare accordingly. The work of the living, the work of survival, was understood as never ending and difficult. It was inconsiderate for the dead to leave work for those who survived them. It would have been unspeakably rude for an elderly person to leave an entire house of things for someone else to process when they had passed.

"Today you are invited to do the work of a conscientious death. You are invited: to right your wrongs, pay off debts, say to people what you don't want to miss out on getting to say, do to people what you don't want to miss out on getting to do, make sure your life insurance policy is paid up, make sure your will is up to date, and get rid of stuff you no longer need. If you haven't already, you are encouraged to share your will and your death wishes with your family.

"Today is also a great day to spend contemplating the words, stories, wisdom, and useful medical information you would like to leave behind to your descendants. Every year I add to The Book of Roslyn. This evening at dinner, everyone is invited to read a short section from their own book or a book of one of their ancestors."

This same ritual could also be fantastic if done as an evening walk through a graveyard.

Would love feedback on this! Would you want to come to my party? Would you want to come every year until you had memorized the various quotes? Would you want to be a cloaked figure? Do you know of a better quote about death or an aspect of it that I forgot to cover?

Happy Halloween!

A Reader Asks About Three-Year-Olds Relating to Newborns: Just Be Real

A reader recently wrote, "I totally agree with your approach to dealing with big emotions outlined in your tantrum post and did most of what you are saying when my older son was an only child... The difficulty that I am having is finding ways to do this for my older son in the moment while he is having big emotions, while also taking care of the newborn, especially when I’m the only adult in the room. I find that the big emotions happen most often when the newborn is needing my attention. And, no surprise, the big emotions are bigger and more frequent now that the newborn is here! Please let me know (and I’m sure many other parents out there!) when / if you find good resources for this issue that fits in to your objectivist parenting philosophy."

First, for those of you that haven't already had the newborn, please consider waiting. All of my research has led me to conclude that children (and parents) do much better when children are spaced five or more years apart.

Next I would recommend reading, in order of importance, 1,2,3... The Toddler Years, How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, Dear Parents: Caring for Infants with Respect, and Tears and Tantrums: What to Do When Babies and Children Cry.

And in the mean time, here are some ideas:

Prepare the three-year-old. Talk to him about what is going on, about all the things he might be feeling. Talk to him about how when the baby cries, he will feel a great deal of stress in his body, and that the stress will make him want to freak out about something too. Tell him you feel the same way. Nature has programmed us to freak out when babies cry so that we deal with it. (Babies who cry in such a way as to destroy all those around them until they are no longer crying were, surprise, more likely to survive and pass on their genes. So the theory goes.) Tell him that it is normal to want to run, jump, scream, yell, hit, throw, or even cry himself when he hears the baby cry.

Tell the three-year-old that this will be an uncomfortable experience, but you want to teach him how to deal with a crying baby, so that he can be an amazing dad one day. Tell him that crying babies are okay, that we must take deep breaths and move slowly and just be with them. Tell him the next time the baby cries, you want him to run straight to you so that you can teach him about crying babies. Then, when it happens, pick him up and take him to the baby. Invite him to put his hand on the baby's chest. Speak softly. "She's sad. It's okay to feel sad."

Practice with the three-year-old. Tell him to pretend the baby is crying. Make eye contact. Show him how to move slowly and softly. Show him how to go to the baby and just watch. "The baby can't tell us what is wrong, so we have to figure it out." Is it the diaper? (Maybe it can be his job to check.) Is it gas? (Teach him how to rub her belly.) Is it the light shining in her eyes? Is she hungry? Make this a game and practice it as many times as you can before a real episode happens.

Tell him that as he gets more used to the baby, he will able to take action when the baby cries, trying to help the baby instead of focusing on his own inner stress. But tell him that for now, when he is just getting used to his inner stress, if he needs to run to you for a hug the minute the baby is crying, that could help both him and you. Look in his eyes. "THIS FEELS SO UNCOMFORTABLE!!!!!" You can yell to him! Try to connect with him about the sheer discomfort of the sound of a crying baby.

But tell him if he can't handle it, if he is feeling something too big, he needs to tell you. Because often, the baby can wait. Tell him you won't want the baby to wait, because the baby's cries are soooooo stressful to you, and it will be hard for you to focus on his issue while the baby is crying, but that if he really, really needs you to, you will tell the baby to wait. He will test you on this, and in that case, you put your hand on the baby's chest and you say, "I hear you and I will be with you when I can." And then you focus on the older child. Perhaps you take the older child into a different room so you can really focus on his issue. Let him know that his needs matter. As soon that is dealt with, tend to the baby. He will feel much more secure knowing that if he ever has an emergency, you will be there for him. The goal is to help him feel so secure, that he does not need to use this and weaponize it against the baby. (This is also a good gage of how well you are doing at giving him enough attention. When he is not feeling like he is getting enough, he will want to punish the baby.)

And the of course always newscast. "Erin is crying. She needs me to find out what is wrong. Oh no. The crying is making Erik crazy too! Erik is only three! He needs help dealing with his big feelings! I want to be there to help him. I want to be there to help the baby too!"

And of course later, when everyone is feeling good, talk to the older child about how it feels for you, about how sad you are that he is not your only child anymore, about how hard it is to have two children that need you, about how much you want to do right by him and take care of him and give him all that he needs, about your fears that you won't be able to. I have always found children to be much more empathetic and less self-centered when they know I am having a hard time too. In this way I disagree with pretty much every parenting expert out there. They think children need Mountain Mom who is always calm and never has issues. I think that is presenting a false reality to children that they see through anyway. I think children do better with Real Moms who talk and express what is going on with them, who model how to deal with big, stressful feelings, and who let the kids know that all humans, no matter their age, are dealing with big, stressful feelings and we do better if we support one another during those times. This shouldn't be abused, of course as it is in alcoholic households, but three year olds love feeling competent enough to support their parents when they are having a tough time. I don't think it "stresses children out" if they are generally well cared for and have a secure attachment. On the contrary, I think it raises their self-esteem and makes them feel competent at life.

Unlimited Television? And Crack? Why I Am Not a "Radical Unschooler" When It Comes to Television and Other Drugs

A reader called me recently to discuss my approach to screen time. She found it fascinating that I am so strongly pro freedom, and yet strongly against unlimited screen time for my son.

How we do screen time: We don't own a television, but we do own computers, iphones, and an ipad. Occasionally, maybe once a week, we watch documentaries on our computers or the ipad. On the full moons we watch a fiction movie. We have educational games on the ipad that are played sporadically, maybe once a month.

This arrangement, for my family at this time, is quite simply not a problem. It's not a problem for me; it's not a problem for Tom, and it's not a problem for Anders. So first, I never really thought very much about the unlimited television question because there was just no problem that needed to be solved.

But my reader asked me to consider: Should Anders be watching more television? Is he being deprived of valuable life experiences? Have I poisoned him against television by reading to him  chapters from Remotely Controlled and Living Outside the Box and explaining to him that television is a drug to be used with care? Have I deprived him of making his own conclusions about television by helping him draw the connection between his ability to pay attention to his math and the amount of television he watches? Isn't it controlling and therefore against my philosophy to say to Anders, "I notice you have been watching television for over an hour now, and I am wondering if you want to do something else?"

Great questions!

My first response is that I don't believe in biting my tongue and taking a deep breath when my son is doing something that makes me uncomfortable. Because my needs matter too. When Anders was two he liked to climb very high and, though he never fell or even seemed unsafe, I would sometimes get uncomfortable and ask him to come down. "Anders, I am sure you are safe up there, but the stress in my body is so intense right now, I can hardly handle it. I feel so much fear I might start crying. I am wondering if you would be willing to come down?" He always came down – because my needs matter to him. I think that's wonderful. I think this negotiation of needs is the dance of healthy human relationships.

Because here's the thing: Bite your tongue all you want, if your veins are coursing with stress hormones, those are going to affect the people around you. Idealize that away all you want, it's a fact of human nature. (Presented compellingly in the book Connected by Nicholas A. Christakis and James H. Fowler.) The fact that anxiety felt by one family member will eventually most likely be felt by all family members for one reason or another is also written about in Bowen's work on family systems theory. These facts should never be used as control mechanisms, but between respectful people who have a healthy relationship – I need to know when what I am doing is stressing you out because your stress is going to get passed around to every member of our household.

I love NVC, but I don't buy into the idea that, "We are not responsible for other people's feeling's at all." There's just no common sense there. It may be a good approach to offenses caused by strangers or to unhealthy relationships, but in close, healthy relationship, I think it is more true and more helpful to believe that, "It takes two to tango." In our family, we consider all problems we have relationship problems for both of us to solve together. You're insecure? Yes, you need to take responsibility and do what you can do to solve that problem, but because we are married, it's my problem too. You're wanting to numb out into a drug? That's definitely a problem you need to look into, but because I am your mother, that's a problem I will look into too. You needs matter to me; let's solve this together.

This was one of the most interesting things I learned in marriage. Before I met Tom I lived by myself and I had no problems with myself so ... there just wasn't a lot of drama there. Then Tom moved in and suddenly I close all the cupboards too loudly and my desk is too messy. Suddenly, I had problems. Or rather we had problems. It wasn't my job to placate Tom by training myself to be quieter and neater, and it wasn't Tom's job to accept me for who I am and deal with his feelings on his own; it was our job to be sensitive to one another, accept one another, and give each other gifts.

When I peruse the unlimited screen time approach to television and video games, I find a lot of it disrespectful to parents, to their needs and discomforts. I find that the abstract ideal of freedom is presented as more important than creating a relationship between the parent and child that works for both of them. There is no right answer here. There is no "should" when it comes to how I keep my desk. There is only what works for me and what doesn't and what works for other members of my household and what doesn't. In a household focused on healthy relationships, everyones needs matter, even their irrational ones.

But I don't think my discomfort around television and video games is irrational. There is a reason parents feel instinctively worried when they see their child watching television or playing video games, because no matter how hard you try to tell yourself it's okay, deep down, you know your kid is on drugs. Meth to be specific. Television and video games are in the same addictive category as meth. 

"There are few things ever dreamed of, smoked, or injected that have as addictive an effect on our brains as technology. This is how our devices keep us captive and always coming back for more. The definitive Internet act of our times is a perfect metaphor for the promise of reward: We search. And we search. And we search some more, clicking that mouse like – well, like a rat in a cage seeking another "hit," looking for that elusive reward that will finally feel like enough.... Computer and video game designers intentionally manipulate the reward system to keep players hooked. The promise that the next level or big win could happen at any time is what makes a game so compelling. It's also what makes a game so hard to quit. One study found that playing a video game led to dopamine increases equivalent to amphetamine use – and it's this dopamine rush that makes both so addictive. (Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D. in The Willpower Instinct: How Self Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It.)

"Television is unique, the perfect medium to produce strong rewards for paying attention to something. So what is so powerful about this reward? Compared to the pace with which real life unfolds and is experienced by young children, television portrays life with the fast-forward button fully pressed. Rapidly changing images, scenery and events, and high-fidelity sounds are overly stimulating and, of course, extremely interesting. Once you are used to food with monosodium glutamate flavour enhancer, real food doesn't taste as interesting. Television is the flavour enhancer of the audiovisual world. Nothing in real life is comparable to this. Television overpays the young child to pay attention to it, and in so doing it seems to physically spoil and damage his attention circuits. In effect, television corrupts the reward system that enables us to pay attention to other things in life." (Dr. Aric Sigman, Remotely Controlled: How Television Is Damaging Our Lives).

Our ability to pay attention is our life. Our ability to focus and control what we pay attention to is consciousness. To do a drug that damages your ability to pay attention is risking your ability to be consciously alive. That is why there is a direct correlation between how much television children watch and ADHD, among other things.

"Children who watch television at ages one and three have a significantly increased risk of developing such attentional problems by the time they are seven. For every hour of television a child watches per day, there is a nine per cent increase in attentional damage. The scientists suggest that their findings may actually be an understatement of the risks to children. They speculate that even if there is some educational benefit to be had from the actual programmes watched, this benefit may have covered up the even greater damage to the child's attentional systems that would occur if they watched programmes that had little educational benefit for them." (Sigman)

"A 26 year study of the 'Association Between Child and Adolescent Television Viewing and Adult Health' was recently published in the medical journal The Lancet, involving 1,000 children born in 1972-73. It found that children who watched more than two hours of television a day between the ages of five and fifteen suffered serious health risks many years later, at the age of 26. The study concluded that 15 per cent of cases of raised blood cholesterol, 17 per cent of obesity, 17 per cent of smoking and 15 per cent of bad cardiovascular fitness were linked to the television viewing that took place years before when the adults were children. This link remained, irresponsive of other factors such as social background, body mass index at age five, parents' BMI, parental smoking and how physically active the children were by the age of 15." (Sigman)

"Within 30 seconds of turning on the television, our brain becomes neurologically less able to make judgements about what we see and hear on screen. Our brain treats incoming information uncritically ... Our brain's left hemisphere, which processes information logically and analytically tunes out while we are watching television." (Sigman)

"Television provides the best means of persuading you to buy into the right values... Nowadays television executives talk of 'raising public awareness of...' This used to be simply called propaganda... Long after people forget what they hear, they remember how they feel. So Bonneville creates those unforgettable feelings..." (Sigman)

"And a study of 22,079 American adults for the pharmaceutical industry quantified the link between television viewing and rates of depression, concluding, 'The incidence of depression is a monotonic increasing function of television viewing' It seems that a television nation becomes a Prozac nation." (Sigman)

So television and video games are dangerous drugs. But, the argument goes, happy people don't get hooked on drugs. Happy mice can have access to heroin water and will choose to not drink it.

Of course, but first of all, those were adult mice not baby mice choosing not to drink the heroin water, and second of all, allowing my child the freedom to do heroin is entirely different from allowing my child to do heroin after I have told him about the dangers and risks involved.

I read these posts by these moms who advocate unlimited screen time, and I just can't imagine that it is possible for a mom to watch her kid do heroin and think, "He'll decide for himself what he thinks of it. Maybe he'll love it all his life long, and that'll be great! So important for them to find their One True Passion!"

So I have to assume that these moms either have never done any research on this particular drug or are television or gaming addicts themselves and therefore comfortable with passing on the addiction. The old, "I'm an addict, and I turned out fine," argument is reprehensible to some, but I am actually okay with it, because evolutionarily speaking, they're right. Likewise, the Christians that beat their children for the last thousand years had six times the birth rate of the modern day Swedes who don't. Not saying we should beat our children, just saying that we shouldn't immediately knock what has clearly worked (evolutionarily speaking).

Like moderation. Moderation served our ancestors well. Drugs are a part of life. Teaching our kids to use responsibly is an important part of parenting. I tell Anders that we must make sure we use the dangerous drugs like spices, to spice up our lives. If occasionally we want to use them as medicines, to change our mood, that's okay. But when we want to use them as drugs, to numb out, we need to find someone we love to talk to about it, because those feelings and choices can lead to very risky places.

Note that I have read some evidence to suggest that anyone allowed to do a drug as much as they want will, after a certain amount of time (almost never more than ten years), give the drug up voluntarily. There is possibly a "life cycle" to most addictions, an eventual end to the desire to numb out. But again these studies were done on adults, not children. In children, if I recall correctly, studies generally show that their brains alter to accommodate their addictions, making them likely candidates for lifelong abusers of that drug. I have, however, read anecdotes from parents that refute this.

Some moms who write in support of unlimited screen time say that it is not the abuse of screen time that is the issue – the issue is why the child wants to numb out. To this, I can only say, "Exactly! But then why are you handing him heroin instead of figuring out what is going on in his life that is causing him to want to not exist?!"

In my experience children, even the very young, are fully capable of having these discussions and of judging and moderating their use of dangerous substances provided they are given the information they need to make wise choices and a relationship they value. I have never had to force Anders to stop watching something. I have only ever reminded him that we don't want to overdo it.

For the record, Anders has overdone it a few times. I remember once he watched five or so hours of television in one day. The next day when he sat down to do his math it took him eight times longer than it had the day before. It took him a week to get his ability to focus back. The experience was very educational.

But back to my house where we don't usually overly indulge in screen time. It's interesting to me that none of us care very much about television. It's not like we have to exert great amounts of self-control to abstain from something truly glorious. A documentary is a welcome addition to an afternoon for Anders when he is curious and wants to know more about something. Both he and I appreciate what my ipad has to offer when I want to socialize at a friend's house, and he has to wait for me. He enjoys full moons when he watches movies that he has heard other kids talking about. But otherwise, television doesn't really occur to him as something to do with his time. He plays and when he is bored with playing he comes to see what I am doing and joins me. It's the same with me. I cook, clean, do errands, and write and when I need a break, I read or exercise or join him. Television isn't really on my radar. I love that.

I was raised without television. Of all the parenting choices my parents made, that was the single most wonderful gift they gave me – the gift of time, the gift of reading, the gift of not knowing what giant corporations wanted me to think.

When I was in elementary school my friends were obsessed with Full House. They learned that they were supposed to be obnoxious to adults and hate their siblings. During those years I read the Little House Books and thought families were supposed to be kind to one another and sisters were supposed to be good friends.

When I was in junior high school my friends were obsessed with Saved By the Bell. They thought school was lame and people who liked school were nerds, and the most important thing was to be popular. I read the Anne of Green Gables series and thought being the smartest girl in school was the best thing to be. I had no idea what popularity was, or that I was supposed to desire it.

When I was in high school my friends were obsessed with Buffy. They continued to hate school and began to obsess over boys and sex. I loved everything I got to learn in school. I thought every subject was fascinating and couldn't understand why they hated it so much. I was into Jane Adams at the time and though I did care a great deal about boys, I was just not as obsessed as my friends.

When I was in college my friends watched Sex and the City and were obsessed with sex and expensive shoes. And I ... was obsessed with James Joyce and couldn't care less about shoes.

The unlimited screen time moms shake their heads at me, "Do you really think reading is a more important activity than watching television? That reading is a more valid life experience in some way? How dare you claim that you might know what is better for me!" They're right. I don't know what is better for you and your family. But I do know that television is a dangerous drug that makes humans numb, unable to focus, passive, mainstream, unsatisfied with their real lives, poor, obese, and divorced.

I also know that while reading, our critical mind is active. A book is generally one person sharing his worldview. It's like a conversation. With television, you are hypnotized while exposing yourself to someone who will do anything to get your attention and keep it. When you watch television, you are the product. Your attention is what is for sale. Companies are not interested in providing quality entertainment, so much as they are interested in getting your attention and keeping it by whatever means necessary. Then they sell your attention to their advertisers. That is the nature of the business.

A writer has to sell his books. The reader is the customer. If the books are not good, the writer will not have customers. Not so with television. You are not the customer. You are the product. His customer is the advertisers. And the television writer will write accordingly. The more product they can deliver, the higher their ad revenue. (The Attention Merchants by Tim Wu)

This is why, if you are going to watch something, movies are much preferable to television. With movies, the viewer is the customer. (Though product placement often fudges that line a little.)

I also know that reading is directly related to our ability to think at abstract levels. According to the research of Leda Cosmides our brains cannot abstract verbally past more than five levels of abstraction. To think more abstractly than that requires writing our thoughts down in order to follow them. Reading is directly related to our ability to think complexly.

We ignore and override so much valuable information our subconscious brains feed us. There is a reason we smile and feel warm and fuzzy when we see a child curled up with a book and a reason why we feel disgusted and turned off when we see a child all zombied out in front of a screen.

"Most of the stories are told to most of the children not by their parents, their school, or their church, but by a group of distant corporations that have something to sell." (Sigman)

There are 150 different products linked to Dora the Explorer. The average American child watches 40,000 commercials each year. When the parents of TV free households are surveyed and asked how often their children pressure them to buy brand-name or otherwise popular toys, games, or foods, 97% of them answered never, rarely, or not very much. (Sigman)

"If you think about it in imperialistic terms, cultures and minds can now be colonised remotely.... Formerly known as propaganda, soft power lies in the abiity to attract and persuade other cultures of the validity and desirability of your own.... CNN, HBO and Disney have succeeded where napalm failed. Perhaps Apocalypse Now – The Sequel is playing out on the streets of Hanoi as young Communists can be seen eating M&Ms while watching Eminem." (Sigman)

"'The difference between children who can picture a story or scene in their mind's eye and those who were raised in front of a TV screen are obvious and very profound," wrote Sue, a TV-free mother who is also a kindergarten teacher. "This difference is evident in their play, their artwork, their writing, the foods packed in their lunch boxes, their show-and-tell, and their conversation. TV permeates every facet of thier being. I think children raised with screen shave never experienced what it's like to dream, create, and imagine inside their own heads–independent of externally supplied (usually corporate) vision.'" (Living Outside the Box)

"In 1990, the American Family Research Council reported that the average American parent spent 38.5 minutes in meaningful conversation with his or her children each week. That's less than six minutes a day. Given that our TV viewing has spiraled steadily upward since then, chances are the situation today is no better... For children raised without television, however, circumstances are different. The parents who participated in my survey of TV-free families reported spending an average of 55 minutes per day in meaningful conversation with their children. That's 385 minutes per week...." (Living Outside the Box)

Another interesting thing I remember reading about television is that our brains cannot tell the difference between our television show "friends" and our real life friends. Because our brains are wired to pay more attention to higher status people than lower status people, we will feel a greater need to check in with our television show friends of high status than our real life friends of lower status.

I know that many parents rely on the television to be their babysitter and the thought of going without it is horrifying. It is for that reason that I began Anders's YouTube channel when he was young. I didn't want him to watch cartoons, but I did need some time off, so I created an hour long playlist of home videos on YouTube for him to watch. This worked like a charm, and I highly recommend it as a strategy for parents who want to avoid television. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLD5CYaUtWd6SjTovWryZtPz7pSTwdMj5K

I was not homeschooled or unschooled, but I was raised without television. Yet I am far less mainstream than the homeschooled and unschooled kids I knew growing up who were raised with television. Contrary to the stories some Unlimited TV Moms spread, I didn't pine away wishing I had television in my life or wishing I were more "normal," and I didn't turn into an adult who became a television addict, neither did my siblings. None of us actually watch a lot of television still today and all of us are happy about it. I am not advocating being TV free here – I don't know what would work in your family. But I would encourage parents to think twice about their choice to welcome screens, and especially unlimited screen time into their homes. Television is not in the same addiction category as sugar, it's more similar to METH, and should be treated as such. My research and life experience has led me to conclude that heavy television exposure is more damaging than sending children to school. 

Anders's Home School Curriculum - 5 2/3

Feb 20-June 20, 2017

Reading

Anders made it 3/4 of the way through the Hooked on Phonics second grade level. We are currently taking a break while he does summer camps.

During this time period, Anders realized that there are books he can read on his own. We started going to the library for him to check out his own books to read, but once summer camp season got under way, we ran out of time for this.

For the first time in over two years, my books are out of our storage unit and on bookshelves. Anders has been a little obsessed with them, constantly trying to read them, taking whole stacks to look through, asking me what they were about, and saying that he wants to know everything that I know.

Before camp started I was still reading to Anders for about an hour each night. After camp started we have not even had time for that!

I still read frequently and give my husband the play-by-play of whatever I am learning. Anders now insists on being a part of it. Anytime he sees me reading he wants to know what I have learned. Often he asks me to read aloud to him from the book I am reading.

One time when we were in the car Anders asked me why there are so many ugly buildings in LA and I went off on a mini-lecture about how a man named Kant convinced the world that beauty is subjective about 140 years ago. When I realized I was lecturing I paused and said, "I'm so sorry Anders, you asked a simple question and I started lecturing at you!" He replied, "That's okay, Mom. I like listening to you talk. It makes me smarter."

Despite not having a lot of time to read, during this time periods we did manage to finish the adult book about airplanes Cockpit Confidential, and we reread the entire Little House series.

Math

For the last four months Anders has relished going to the Kumon center twice a week to do his work with Miss Mariko. He runs in there with a big smile, races through the ten pages they expect him to do, and then asks for extra work. They are wild with laughter every time they return him to me as they have never seen a child so excited to do his math. One time he stayed for almost two hours completing 110 pages of work. He finished the entire unit of 2A in  and is now working on A (first grade).

We had a lot of discussions about the pros and cons of doing Kumon, the SAT's, and going to college. I was asking him every month before I paid for the Kumon program if he was sure he would like to continue, and every month he said a very quick, "Yes." Then in May he told me I didn't have to ask him again until he was 6.

Once the camp season started in June and Anders got busy, Kumon became less interesting/exciting/fun to him and returned to being work, albeit work that he takes a great deal of pride in. He generally puts off doing it until I say, "Anders, it's almost seven; if you don't start your Kumon now, you won't have time to do it today!" Then he races down to do his pages while I do dishes in the other room. Every now and then he says he is too tired to do it, and I ask him if I can support him in some way. He asks me to sit with him at the table while he does his work.

During March, April, and May Anders did math tutoring with a Montessori teacher at a nearby Montessori school once a week. This he loved immensely and would never let me cancel no matter how busy we got. His sessions were ninety minutes long (he chose the length) and his teacher reported to me that he is two years above grade level.

This makes sense to me because in daily life I have seen Anders do (simple) subtraction, multiplication, and division problems with ease, like if I had 100 dollars and divided it up among 4 people, how much money would each person have?"

Anders taught himself roman numerals using the Mathopia app on my phone.

Business Skills

Anders has continued to go to the office with his dad and just loves it there.

We watched The Apprentice television show on DVD, which I found to be an invaluable teaching tool about business. We will likely watch this show again when he is older. My favorite episode was the one with Trump's son – I could tell he was already being given a business education.

Anders told me in April that he really wanted a job and asked if I could help him get one. His father offered to hire him for $3/hr to pick up trash around the auto square where his security company is located. Anders said he would do that, but he wanted a real job. I explained to him that 100 years ago the government made it illegal for children to work in every industry except one – the entertainment industry. So the only legal job available to a child of his age would be acting or modeling. He asked what actors and models were, and I explained the jobs to him. "That's fine. I'll do that." He said. "Well, " I said, "as long as we are in LA, I guess I can look into it..."

Papa then asked him why he wanted to work. We told him we will feed, house, clothe, and take care of him for many years to come. He said that he really wants to buy assets, like cows, a farm, apartment buildings, and companies. He wants to find a partner and have children of his own and before he does that he needs money so ... assets.

Games

Before camp started we played a lot of Money Bags. Currently we just play Legos and hide and seek.

Social Skills

One evening we were making pumpkin cookies and had all the dry ingredients mixed together before we realized that we did not have any butter. Anders wanted to go to the store right, then but when I said I couldn't go until the next day, he was fine with it. It has been that way during this entire time period. We have no disputes, no issues. He is super easy to get along with.

In many ways I feel deeply like "my job here is done." Anders still doesn't know many things of course, and my job most certainly isn't done, but he is so solid, confident, happy, assertive, respectful, and curious that I feel very at peace, like whatever happens he is going to be fine.

Then again he is five. Five is famous for being a very easy and pleasant age.

A conversation I shared on Facebook:
Camp Counselor: You're Anders's mom?
Mama: Yes.....?
Camp Counselor: I have to tell you a story about your son!
Mama: Okay.
Camp Counselor: Yesterday, your son was sitting with three other boys, and one was like, "I hate girls!" and the next boy was like, "Yeah, girls are so gross!" and the next boy was like, "Yeah, girls are the worst!" And Anders just looked at them all with his mouth open and a big, confused, smile on his face, and he was like, "How can you hate girls?! They're so beautiful!"

Anders switched camps every week all summer, doing gymnastics, four different science camps, ballroom dancing camp, ice skating camp, and Spanish camp. He has made new friends wherever he has gone, but he commented to me that last summer he went to the same camp for six weeks, so he was able to make much better friends. He said that that is what he would like to do next summer, but this summer he is just interested in too many things, so despite the constantly changing peer group, he wants to stick with his plan to do a new camp every week.

Anders continues to exhibit none of the tensional outlets that the books I read tell me are normal for his age (that I have never thought were normal). No finger sucking, nail biting, clothing chewing, eye twitching, stuttering, or attachment objects. He has still never had a nightmare (except that one when he was 2 about cookies) nor is he afraid of the dark or harmless bugs. He does pick his nose occasionally but not often enough for me to think it's a tension thing. He also swings his legs under the table when he is bored, but again, it doesn't seem to be tension related.

Fantasy

Anders continues to play games with his Legos for hours each day when he comes home from camp. Usually he is building farms, robots, or armies. He has conversations with himself and will sometimes tell me not to talk to him because he is playing a game.

He continues to exhibit a solid ability to tell the difference between reality and fantasy.

Eating & Nutrition

In his camp lunches each day he usually packs some kind of grass fed meat stick, but sometimes sardines or oysters or homemade sausage, a cheese, a sliced up piece of fruit that is almost always an apple, a vegetable which is almost always seaweed, a grain which is almost always crackers but sometimes gallo pinto, and a treat which is almost always a small piece of chocolate. He always brings a thermos of water and sometime adds a bottle of coconut water as well.

His favorite thing to have for dinner during this time period has been Erewhon sushi. He likes the salmon and tuna with rice. He also likes it when I make him lox and cream cheese rolls. I found a great hot dog from US Wellness meats that we have been eating with fermented ketchup as well, though he isn's ever as enthusiastic about the hot dogs as he about sushi or lox rolls. He also likes it when I make pesto pasta or when I serve liver pate on crackers. He goes through phases of being obsessed with kefir smoothies and drinking a pints worth every day for a week or two to not liking them or drinking any at all for a month or two. He also goes through phases of loving a certain nut (it was pistachios and then almonds and currently it's walnuts).

After it turned out that the snacks given to the children at his camps gave him red cheeks, Anders stopped accepting the snacks offered to him at camps sometimes, but not all the time.

Anders is generally effortless to feed. I buy whole grain sourdough bread, but sometimes I buy white sourdough bread. Anders is happy to eat either. I cut the crusts off for him (because my mother would not do that for me) but he doesn't care all that much. I slice apples for him. I stopped peeling them for him because he really didn't mind them with the peels on. Sometimes I serve brown rice and sometimes white rice. He likes both. He thought the brown noodles were tastier than the white noodles with pesto sauce. He will taste anything I ask him to taste and doesn't spit it out or make a big show of it if he doesn't like it.

I wrote down everything Anders ate for a last week and analyzed it on NutritionData.com to see if he was getting all his vitamins and minerals. I shared the results with him, that the good news is that he was getting at least some (50% of his RDA) of every vitamin and mineral through his diet and that the bad news was that he was low (only 50% of his RDA) in vitamins A, E, and K. I told him the best foods to eat more of to get those vitamins, and he has taken it from there. I also told him that most likely he doesn't gravitate towards foods with A and K in them as he gets those from his cod liver oil high vitamin butter oil vitamin, which were not input into the analysis. So we are going to focus on eating more nuts (soaked!) at our house for the vitamin E.

I continue to believe that children are rational and make great choices if given information and control over their own lives.

It is stressful to decide that we are doing "good enough," that 80% in any given vitamin and mineral is good enough, that I don't need to go after the 100%, that I can continue to maintain this relaxed attitude about nutrition. But for now, that's what I am going with! Because it makes me happy. I love my relaxed attitude and how well it has worked with Anders. He doesn't act like a deprived kid, stuffing his face at parties or camps. He acts like a kid who gets plenty of treats. I am hoping that we are eating well enough for Anders to get straight teeth without ever needing braces (both Tom and I wore braces for years, and we both need them again as adults). Only time will tell, unfortunately, and even then, I wont know for sure that the WAPF claim is true until child number two has grown because I did not take cod liver oil when I was pregnant with Anders, so he did not get ideal nutrition in the womb. Thus far his dentist says his palate looks great, so ... I hope!

Anders recently watched the entire documentary Food, Inc.

Interests

Though Anders has loved all the camps he has done so far this summer, the one he loved the most was the robotics camp.

Average day in Los Angeles 

8am: wake, dress, eat, brush teeth
830am-11am play
11am-12pm: home school work
12pm: lunch
1pm: errands or more play
3pm-5pm: class (Krav Maga, ballroom, Montessori math, Kumon, music, pre-hockey)
530pm: dinner
6pm: bath, get ready for bed
730p: read and talk
9pm: sleep

Average day in Los Angeles during camp season:

8am rush: wake, dress, eat, brush teeth, pack lunch, go!
830am: drive
9am-3pm camp
3-345pm: drive
345-5pm: play with Legos or read books to himself
5pm: dinner
530pm: play
630pm: Kumon
7p: bath, get ready for bed, wrestle with Papa
8pm: lights out, cuddle up and talk
9pm sleep

Home School Work (about 1 hour)

4 problems from Ray's New Primary Arithmetic (I was doing 1 but Anders upped it to 4)
Addition flash cards when learning something new
10 pages of Kumon math
1 page Brain Quest questions, first grade level
1 lesson in Kumon Spatial Reasoning work book, kindergarten level
1 lesson Kumon coins workbook
1 page (both sides) in Gifted and Talented Test Prep work book first grade evel (logic)
1 page (both sides) in Zaner-Bloser Handwriting Kindergarten level
1 page or 1 book in Hooked on Phonics
6 NVC flash cards
Read to Mom for twenty minutes

Generally he has a current favorite workbook in which he does many more than one page, more like sight pages. Which workbook is the current favorite changes by the week.

Anders's Music Playlist

Whenever Anders hears a song playing that he likes, he asks me to add it to his playlist. These are the songs that have been added so far. Despite the variety of songs on his list, I only ever hear him playing Josh Vietti and "I'm Goona Getcha Good."

Alanis Morissette: You Learn
Ben Harper: Gold To Me, Fight for your mind
Bucky Covington: It's Good to Be Us
Capella Istopolitana: Mandolin Concerto RV425 Allegro
Carrie Underwood: Wasted
Cross Canadian Ragweed: Constantly
Dave Matthews Band: Best of What's Around
Enya: After Ventus, Evacuee, I Want Tomorrow
Jamey Johnson: In Color
Josh Vietti: In A Trance, Night in Paris, Fur Elise are his favorites but he likes everything by Vietti
Kenny Chesney: Young
London Symphony Orchestra & Micheal Tilson Thomas: Symphony No. 9 in D minor
Nina Gerber: Lullaby
Secret Garden: Passacaglia
Shania Twain: I'm Gonna Getcha Good
Sting: When We Dance
Taylor Swift: White Horse
Terri Clark: I Just Wanna Be Mad
The Beatles: Birthday
The Civil Wars: Dust to Dust
The Evening Guests: Lost at Sea, What a Show
The Youngbloods: Let's Get Together
Wynonna: Always Will

How to cure PMDD with Vitamins

Recently used vitamins to cure (completely) a pretty horrific case of PMDD. In case you or a loved one have ever suffered from menstrual related hormone swings, here is what I recommend trying (please let me know if it works for you!):

1) Red Raspberry Leaf Tea, 8 ounces a day

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07ND3H9XT/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

2) Fermented Cod Liver Oil High Vitamin Butter Oil

http://www.radiantlifecatalog.com/product/butter-oil-cod-liver-oil-blend/fish-butter-oils

3) Vitamin E

https://www.standardprocess.com/Products/Standard-Process/Cataplex-E2#.WPZkZVPyv2Q

4) B Vitamins

https://www.standardprocess.com/Products/Standard-Process/Cellular-Vitality#.WPZkglPyv2Q

5) Calcium

https://www.standardprocess.com/Products/Standard-Process/Cal-Ma-Plus#.WPZkoFPyv2Q

6) Magnesium

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002XSQ35I/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Anders's Homeschool Curriculum age 5 1/3

At 5 1/3

Reading

We stopped doing the Kumon reading program in January. He had wanted to do their program, so I supported him, but I never liked it very much. After I read The Well-Trained Mind I was able to explain to him (and myself) exactly why I was not liking the program and why I thought he should stop doing it. Anders agreed to stop after he finished level 3A. Here is the post I wrote about that decision: http://roslynross.blogspot.com/2016/12/ideal-reading-programs-and-kumon-i-can.html.

Sometime in January we went back to doing Hooked on Phonics. We reviewed the kindergarten program for a few weeks, focusing on mastering sound combinations. Anders flew threw it and really enjoyed revisiting books that he had read when he was "young." Then we reviewed the first grade program up to where we had been when we switched last year. It was quite surprising to me how quickly it all came back to him. We have been doing a lot more repetition this time through, reading each little book several times until he has truly mastered it before moving on. We are now about two weeks shy of finishing the first grade program.

We currently read at night right before bed. We read something hard (new) for ten minutes, something easy (review) for five minutes, and then do flashcards for five minutes and some brain quest (we finished the kindergarten one during this time period). Then I read to him until he wants to go to sleep.

I finally found a series of kids' versions of the classics that I like. It's called the Classic Starts series. It is much less dumbed down than the other series of classics for kids that I have read – I have been happy with the vocabulary level. They are short. They are like a quick intro course that enables us to cover more books and decide which ones we really like and want to read the longer versions of. For example, we recently read Pinocchio, Oliver Twist, Treasure Island, Robinson Crusoe and The Story of King Arthur and His Knights in the Classic Starts series. The only one we want to read a longer version of is King Arthur.

We also recently read (the original versions of) Little Men, Swedish Folk Tales, and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. All were hits with Anders, of course. The one I liked the most was Swedish Folk Tales. We have read many different books of fairy tales at this point and Swedish Folk Tales is the only one I have ever liked values-wise.

Another thing we have learned – several times, we keep accidentally repeating this experiment due to random circumstances: If Anders watches more than about ninety minutes of television (documentaries) in a single day, he will find doing his work extremely difficult the next day. It's cumulative too. If he watches no television for a few weeks and then has a television intensive day due to traveling, he will only struggle a little the next day whereas if he watches a bunch of television several days in a row, he will get progressively worse at his work each day until he is struggling to the point that we decide to forgo any more television until his brain is better.

What is different about his brain is his ability to focus. If Anders hasn't watched any television in a week, he can sit down and do five pages of math in one sitting. If Anders has had an overdose of screen time, he will do a half a page, stare into space, get distracted with something else, focus long enough to finish the page, and then decide he doesn't feel like doing his work today.

Math

At the beginning of this time period Anders needed something to change with his math. He would say that he wanted to keep doing his math program, but for about two weeks he would never make time to do it. I couldn't blame him – there is so much exciting stuff going on at the farm all the time! I asked him if we could just put the program on pause as I didn't want to pay for it if we weren't going to do it.

That made him very upset, and he started doing the program again. After a few weeks I felt like I had to threaten him with cancelation of the program constantly otherwise he would not make the time to do it. That wasn't working for me.

I told him I was very confused about what to do. His words were saying he wanted to do the program, but not his actions. He told me to just make him do his Kumon, like the kids I used to be a nanny for. Thus began a very interesting discussion that lasted a few days: We try to have no force in our family, but is force okay if the other person gives you permission because they have a goal, but need help with their self-control? Anders thought so. He has helped me from time to time to limit my chocolate consumption, and I was always appreciative.

In the end I decided to experiment and see. I thought Anders might be curious about what it is like to be forced to do something and, when you are five, there is value even in negative experiences, provided they are not traumatizing. I didn't think it would be traumatizing, so we decided that the next day I would be "Anders's nanny instead of his mom."

So, the next morning I didn't let him leave his chair until his math was done, as I had done with many children before him. It was fascinating and depressing. He pulled the math out of his head with a slowness that I had never seen in him before. I have always marveled at how fast and bright he is, but that day he seemed slow and stupid. When his work was finally done, it was ugly, lots of erasing, scribbles, rips, and doodles. His behavior and the work he produced was virtually identical to the kids for whom I had been a nanny. All this time I thought he was so bright, but as it turns out he was bright because he was doing what he wanted to be doing. Shocker.

When his math was done for the day, I asked him what he thought about being forced, and he said, "It was fine. Will you do that again tomorrow?" I was feeling very conflicted. But the experience helped me realize what the problem was or, rather, what Anders needed.

The next day I told him I didn't want to force him. I told him that what I thought he might be interested in was something called self-control.

I said (something along these lines):

 "You used to do math for the experience of doing the math. You were learning something new, and it was fun. Learning new things is fun. But after you were done with the learning, it became time to master the math problems and have them so memorized in your brain that you never have to think about them again. That is your new task. And you are experiencing it right now as a boring task, because you haven't learned how to switch brains.

"In a way, we have two brains in our head. Our Long Term Goal Brain and our Right Now Brain. Most of the time, when you are five, your Right Now Brain is the boss. But as you get older, your Long Term Goal Brain starts to grow, and it wants to be the boss sometimes.

"Our Right Now Brains just wants to be experiencing the world, not memorizing things. In fact, it hates memorizing things. It hates it so much that every math problem is painful, and when doing work is painful, the work itself becomes ugly. Look at this work you turned in yesterday!

"If you can learn how to command your attention, by strengthening your focus muscle, your Right Now Brain will be quiet for a minute and your Goal Brain will take over. When your Goal Brain is in charge, doing your math will be easy; you will be fast; your work will be beautiful; and you will feel powerful and competent. For that reason it will be fun again. It is fun to feel powerful and competent.

"You get to decide what brain is the boss. It's called commanding your attention, deciding what to focus on, and then having a strong enough focus muscle to stay focused. Yesterday, when you did your work, you were in your Right Now Brain. That's why the work felt boring and miserable.

"Today, I don't want you to think about doing math. This work isn't about math. This is about your ability to be the boss of your attention. Not me. If I am the boss of your attention you won't get stronger. If you are the boss of your attention you will get stronger and stronger every day. See if you can give all your attention power to your Goal Brain, and just get this done. You will know you are succeeding when time disappears, and you find yourself just whipping out numbers."

This was exactly what Anders needed to hear. His goal became, not to do math pages, but to see if he could command his attention and strengthen his focus muscle. He started with just one page at a time. But he could feel the difference. When he was in his Goal Brain he felt powerful and capable and the math was easy to do and time flew by. When he lost his focus, there were suddenly lots of mistakes on the page, and he felt powerless and miserable. (Or at least, that is what he told me. It's entirely possible he was just repeating to me what I had said.)

It took about a week for him to get his focus up to five pages straight. The new game of "Can I Focus My Brain?" was so interesting for him that he started hopping out of bed in the morning and saying, "Give me my pages!" Then he would sit down and whip them out, five beautiful pages with no errors and nice handwriting. Many times there would be a section, around page two or three in which there would be three problems or so that were scribbled out, and I would say, "Look, I can see you lost your focus here, and I can see here you got it back here."

At the end of this time period: Anders continues to race through his math every day, impressing himself with his speed and memorization abilities and blowing me away with his persistence and determination. He is almost done with the long, hard unit of 3A.

After he is done with his Kumon pages we do one page in his logic workbook. Sometimes he thinks it is so much fun that he ends up doing ten pages.

Business Skills

It occurs to me that this should be its own section, as it is a major part of Anders's curriculum. Right now, we play Money Bags every day. In the past we have also played Monopoly. We recently read (again) all the Tuttle Twins Books, Who Is Bill Gates, Who Was Steve Jobs, Buy My Hats, Lemonade in Winter, Escape the Rat Race, Flicka, Ricka, Dicka Go to Market, Alexander, Who Used To Be Rich Last Sunday, and Fisherman's Catch. In the past we read: Who Was Milton Hershey, Who is Richard Bronson, Diddle Daddle Ducking, Pelle's New Suit, and How and Economy Grows and Why It Doesn't.

Anders also goes to work with his dad once a week or so for two to six hours. Tom also takes Anders on special "business dates," in which they meet an important lawyer or car dealer.

I talk about gold, silver, dollars, and cordobas with Anders and we have been to a coin store where Anders bought himself some pieces of silver. For the solstice this year, Anders decided to forgo getting sweets in his stocking so he could have another silver coin.

Games

Anders's favorite game is still memory, though he loves any game anyone wants to play, especially games that involve running like hide and seek and tag.

Social Skills

Anders thinks that calling people names is the funniest thing ever, so funny that he shrieks. What is funny to me is what he thinks is funny to call people: a hammer, a nail, a window, a block of cement, rice, beans, milk, an ant, a chicken, a dog, a pig. I assume his brain is learning metaphors.

We had a family visit us at the farm for a week. They had a five year old boy who was our guest. They boys butted heads a lot at first, but after a few days they learned how to get along and became quite good friends with almost no squabbles.

I don't really have anything else interesting to note. Anders seems quite competent, outgoing, friendly, bossy at times and kind at times, and struggles with things other five-year-olds struggle with.

Fantasy

Anders pretends: that he is on his way to an airport and might be late, that he is riding on Air Force One with the president, that he is a Jedi and has to protect his property from thieves, that he owns a farm, and that he has invented a new weapon that makes him super powerful. He has an endless fantasy life and is always playing games and talking to himself. He can entertain himself for hours at a time. On our recent long travel day from the farm to Los Angeles, he never asked for the iPad, he was too involved in the world around him and the game he was playing with his Legos.

The other mom that was visiting marveled at Anders's ability to entertain himself.

Eating & Nutrition

We read The Adventures of Andrew Price and I still talk to Anders regularly about why I make the food choices I do. I also told him that our taste buds are largely habit based, liking anything they have tasted twenty times. I asked him if he would start tasting various healthy foods and he happily complied. He generally announces that he loves something new after only the second or third taste. Many times he likes things the first time.

There is no force here. If he says he doesn't want to taste something I say, "Okay, maybe next time." or I argue with him, "But Anders, carrots have vitamin A in them which is so good for your eyes!" Generally any argument works and Anders decides to taste whatever it is I was offering.

Because Anders has been raised on real food (as opposed to processed food), if he eats too much processed food he will throw it up. I was reminded of this recently when he was served goldfish at a friend's house (and vomited them up the minute he got home).

Interests

One day I saw two fire trucks. Anders saw them at the same time and said, "Look mom! A ladder truck and a pump truck." I looked at the trucks and noticed that yes, one did have a ladder on it, and the other, well, let's be honest, they all just look like firetrucks to me.

Anders is interested in Star Wars because other boys are. He is also very interested in war, weapons, money, and Donald Trump. He continues to be interested in being stronger and finding a partner.

Average day at the farm:

6:00am Wake, do Kumon
6:30am Have breakfast as fast as possible, run off to play
8:00am-12:00pm Work with German or Erick or Elieser, weeding, trimming trees, stacking fire wood, digging swales, or do cooking project with Emelia
12:00pm lunch
12:30pm Play with friends, swim, run around, play Legos
5:00pm dinner
5:30pm get ready for bed, admire the stars
6:00pm get in bead, do Hooked on Phonics, play games with Mom, read
7:30pm sleep

A Different Way to Think About Death: Dying People Need Our Permission To Die and Company While They Do So

I've been reading book about death for a while, wanting to grasp the psychology of it, wanting to know more about my own future. One thing that struck me is that those who care for the dying say they need two things above all: permission to die and company while they do so. In our society today we are terrible at meeting that first need.

What do we do when we see a dying creature?

In some times and places compassion for a dying animal meant giving it a quicker death. Now it means fixing it, at all costs, and caring for it, if necessary, for the rest of its life. Now it means prolonging its death for as long as possible. And if it is dying and there is nothing we can do, lying about it.

What we are doing, that we claim to do in the name of compassion, is not compassion. It is avoidance of pain and fear of death.

We, the living, don't want to confront death. We would rather the burden of carrying a dying creature for fifty years than a week at his bedside holding his hand while he dies. Yet that is what the dying need, I have read. Not to be our burden. No one wants to be a burden.

We know this, deep down, that no one will accept burden status, so we lie to them. We tell stories to make them feel entitled to being burdens; we play a dishonest psychological game with ourselves pretending that they are not burdens, that it is meaningful to carry them, that good people are genuinely happy to do so, that it is their right to be carried, that they deserve it, etc.

But this dishonesty is not kind because dying people need two things: our permission to die and company while they do so.

To turn them into a burden and then lie to them, telling them they are not a burden, is to deprive them of our permission to die.

More than denying them permission, it gives them the message that they are bad to die. It also deprives them of a possible meaningful death.

"Am I a burden to you?" What if they need to hear that they are? What if that is what will give them the strength to face what is perhaps the scariest thing a person will ever have to face? What if we said, "You are a burden to me, a heavy one. I am struggling under the weight of carrying you. But I will carry you, until you are ready to go."

The journey of death is the journey of acceptance. How can the dying find meaning in their death if we refuse to? What if their death could have meaning? What if instead of their death being a failure, it can be a gift they give those who survive them, a lightening of the burdens of the living?

The faceless society cannot bear the dying, individual people must. Because it is the desire to not burden those individuals that gives the dying the strength to go, that enables their death to be a gift. I would so much rather my death be a gift to those I love than a traumatizing event that causes them pain.

Not saying we should run around telling people to die. Not saying death will ever not be painful. But I would like to see a cultural shift in our attitudes about death and especially about choosing to die instead of live and the many times it is a highly rational choice. We treat death as such a tragedy, but it is the fate of each and every one of us. It is not a failure on the part of the dying person. Memes talk about the "courage" of those "fighting cancer" in their "battle against death." I think that often the far more courageous choice is actually the choice to go gracefully. Sometimes the battle is desperation and fear. Especially when I see pictures of courageous toddlers fighting to survive and destroying the lives of all those around them in the process. The toddler isn't courageous of course. And neither are the parents. It is not courageous to sign up for twenty years of medical bill slavery so that a sick child can die in his teens instead of now. Facing death, your own and the death of those you love, is often the far more courageous choice.

Someone wrote to ask me about my position on the elderly and here is what I have to say: In Tibetan Buddhism it is said that a person spends the first half of his life learning to live and the second half learning to die. The elderly are those in the final stages of learning to die. They should never be infantilized nor turned into burdens against their own wishes. Their death is natural and right and should not be prevented or prolonged, rather it should be treated as sacred, beautiful, and theirs.

The dying need two things from the living: permission to die and company while they do so. Most people die today, sadly, without the former. Like labor, the "no" instead of the "yes" can make the experience last much longer than it would have otherwise. Death can be dragged on for years if someone is given the message that their death will cause pain to others.

And the latter not everyone actually needs, just most people. I will want someone to hold my hand. But many people are so connected to their spirituality that they don't need anyone there. If that is the message an elderly person gives by choosing to stay in his own home alone, so be it. He doesn't want to be a burden. That is actually far more natural and right than convincing him he would not be a burden. He should be praised as heroic, honest, emotionally aware, brave, and generous. It is not sad to know that, no matter how much your family loves you, caring for you would be a burden for them – a burden they would bear, but a burden you don't wish them to bear. It is beautiful to refuse to be their burden, beautiful to give them that gift.

Perhaps this isn't a new way to think about death at all. I have read of hunter gatherer tribes in which the old were expected to get lost in the forest. That was how they died. No one offered to carry them. No one insisted the tribe go slower. Similarly, old vikings, when they saw that they were becoming burdens on the living, left to fight in a battle. They did it consciously, knowing they would not survive the fight. They said their goodbyes and then picked a cause to die for. Of course, their main cause was that gift they wanted to give their families. Because life was understood to be endless toil and death was understood to be rest, it was easy to talk about the burden of caring for the old. Contrast that with today, when we can't seem to have honest conversations about death at all.

Bibliography by Subject - READING RECOMMENDATIONS!

Bibliography by Subject - READING RECOMMENDATIONS!

 

 

Here is a second version of my bibliography that will be more useful for reading recommendations.

*This list was last updated Jan 2023

 

KEY

Books in red are what I consider to be the most important books in each category.

Books in blue I highly recommend.

Books in light blue I recommend with reservations or I recommend, but they are just not as important as the books in the other blue or red.

Books in gray I have rated as 1-star for being incorrect, irrational or just bad.

ON *MARRIAGE, *COUPLEHOOD, *SEX

Abraham, Laurie: The Husbands and Wives Club: A Year in the Life of a Couples Therapy Group

Branden, Nathaniel: Honoring the Self

Branden, Nathaniel: Taking Responsibility

Branden, Nathaniel: The Art of Living Consciously

Branden, Nathaniel: The Psychology of Romantic Love

Branden, Nathaniel: The Romantic Love Question and Answer Book

Chang, Stephen Thomas: The Tao of Sexology: The Book of Infinite Wisdom

Christakis, Nicholas A.: Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How...

Coontz, Stephanie: Marriage, a History: From Obedience to Intimacy or How Love Conquered...

Crittenden, Ann: The Price of Motherhood: Why the Most Important Job in the World is Still...

Farrell, Warren: The Myth of Male Power

Friedan, Betty: The Feminine Mystique

Gilbert, Roberta M.: The Eight Concepts of Bowen Theory

Glasser, William: Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom

Goleman, Daniel: Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships

Gray, Peter B.: Evolution and Human Sexual Behavior

Hendrix, Harville: Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples

Hastings, Anne Stirling: Create New Love: How Men and Women Can Prepare for a Lasting...

Kane, Ariel: How to Create a Magical Relationship: The 3 Simple Ideas that Will...

Levine, Amir: Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment

Malinowshi, Bronislaw: The Sexual Life of Savages

Masters, William H. and Virginia E. Johnson: Heterosexuality

Murray, Charles: Coming Apart: The State of White America, 1960-2010

Noyes, John Humphrey: Essay on scientific propagation

Parker-Pope: Tara: For Better: The Science of a Good Marriage

Perel, Ester: Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic + the Domestic

Peterson, Jordan B. 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos

Peterson, Jordan B.: Beyond Order: 12 More Rules For Life

Rosenberg, Marshall B.: Non-Violent Communication

Rushton, Philippe J.: Race, Evolution, and Behavior: A Life History

Wallace, Carol: All Dressed in White: The Irresistible Rise of the American Wedding

Unwin, J.D.: Sex and Culture

Ted Talks

Stefana Broadbent: How the Internet Enables Intimacy 

Brene Brown: The Power of Vulnerability 

Cindy Gallop: Make Love, Not Porn 

Dan Dennett: Cute, Sexy, Sweet, Funny 

Alice Dreger: Is Anatomy Destiny? 

Helen Fisher: Why We Love and Cheat

Caroline Heldman: The Sexy Lie (tedx talk)

Mary Roach: 10 Things You Didn't Know About Orgasm 

 

ON *STARTING A FAMILY

Bombardieri, Merle: The Baby Decision: How to Make the Most Important Decision of Your...

Caplan, Bryan: Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids: Why Being a Great Parent is Less Work...

Engel, Beverly: The Parenthood Decision: Discovering Whether You Are Ready and Willing...

Maier, Corinne: No Kids: 40 Good Reasons Not to Have Children

Noyes, John Humphrey: Essay on scientific propagation

Peterson, Jordan B. 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos

Peterson, Jordan B.: Beyond Order: 12 More Rules For Life

 

ON *MOTHERHOOD, *WOMEN, *HOUSEHOLD MANAGEMENT

Branden, Nathaniel: A Woman's Self-Esteem

Brenneman, Kim: Home Management: Plain and Simple

Cable, Mary: The Little Darlings: A History of Child Rearing in America

Crittenden, Ann: The Price of Motherhood: Why the Most Important Job in the World is Still...

Fey, Tina: Bossypants

Friedan, Betty: The Feminine Mystique

Hrdy, Sarah: Mother Nature: Maternal Instincts and How They Shape the Human Species

Hrdy, Sarah: The Woman That Never Evolved

Kornblut, Anne: Notes from the Cracked Ceiling: Hillary Clinton, Sarah Palin, and What it...

McCullough, Bonnie Runyan: Totally Organized

Rose, Elizabeth R.: A Mother's Job: The History of Day Care, 1890-1960

Schlessinger, Laura: In Praise of Stay-at-Home-Moms

Waldman, Ayelet: Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and...

ON *FATHERHOOD, *MEN, *BOYS, *MASCULINITY

Ellul, Jacques: Propaganda: The Formation of Men's Attitudes

Farrell, Warren: The Myth of Male Power

Grossman, Dave: On Combat: The Psychology and Physiology of Deadly Conflict in War and...

Grossman, Dave: On Killing: The Psychological Cost of Learning to Kill in War

Gurian, Michael: Strategies for Teaching Boys and Girls – Elementary Level…

Kindlon, Dan: Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys
Peterson, Jordan B. 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos

Peterson, Jordan B.: Beyond Order: 12 More Rules For Life

Silverstein, Olga: The Courage to Raise Good Men

Sommers, Christina Hoff: The War Against Boys: How Misguided Policies Are…

 

ON *PREGNANCY, *BIRTH

Cassidy, Tina: Birth: The Surprising History of How We Are Born

Dick-Read, Grantly: Childbirth Without Fear

Gaskin, Ina May: Spiritual Midwifery

Hoang, Letrinh: Osteopathy for Children: Holistic and Natural Treatments for the...

Mendelsohn, Robert S.: How to Raise a Healthy Child in Spite of Your Doctor

Morell, Sally Fallon: The Nourishing Traditions Book of Baby & Child Care

Murkoff, Heidi, Arlene Eisenberg, Sandee Hathaway: What to Expect When You're Expecting

Paul, Annie Murphy: Origins: How the Nine Months Before Birth Shape the Rest of Our Lives

Planck, Nina: Real Food for Mother and Baby: The Fertility Diet, Eating for Two, and...

Pottenger, Francis Marion: Pottenger's Cats: A Study in Nutrition

Price, Weston A.: Nutrition and Physical Degeneration: A Comparison of Primitive and...

Shettles, Landrum B: How to Choose the Sex of Your Baby: Fully Revised and Updated

Simkin, Penny, Janet Whalley, Ann Keppler: Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn

Swan, Shanna H.: Countdown: How Our Modern World Is Threatening Sperm…

Torborg, Jen: Your Best Body After Baby: A Postpartum Guide to Exercise, Sex, and Pelvic…

Torborg, Jen: Your Best Pregnancy Every: 9 Healthy Habits to Empower You in Pregnancy…

Vincent, Peggy: Baby Catcher: Chronicles of a Modern Midwife

Wickham, Sara: Anti-D Explained

Wickham, Sara: Group B Strep Explained

documentaries

Pregnant in America

The Business of Being Born

papers

Gottlieb, Gilbert: On the Epigenetic Evolution of Species-Specific Perception: The Developmental...

 

ON *BABY HEALTH, *VACCINES

Curtis, Glade B.: Your Baby's First Year: Week by Week

Mendelsohn, Robert S.: How to Raise a Healthy Child in Spite of Your Doctor

Morell, Sally Fallon: The Nourishing Traditions Book of Baby & Child Care

Sears, Robert: The Vaccine Book: Making the Right Decision for Your Child

Simkin, Penny, Janet Whalley, Ann Keppler: Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn

Murkoff, Heidi, Arlene Eisenberg, Sandee Hathaway: What to Expect When You're Expecting

documentaries

The Greater Good

Vaxxed

 

ON *BABY SLEEP

Curtis, Glade B.: Your Baby's First Year: Week by Week

Ferber, Richard: Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems

Gerber, Magda: Caring for Infants with Respect

Gerber, Magda: Your Self-Confident Baby: How to Encourage Your Child's Natural Abilities...

Hoang, Letrinh: Osteopathy for Children: Holistic and Natural Treatments for the...

Huggins, Hal A.: Why Raise Ugly Kids? How You Can Fulfill Your Child’s Health

Karp, Harvey: The Happiest Baby on the Block

Lansky, Vikcey: The Family Bed

McGurk, Linda Akeson: There's No Such Thing as Bad Weather: A Scandinavian Mom's...

Mindell, Jodi A.: Sleeping Through the Night: How Infants, Toddlers, and Their Parents...

Pantley, Eliabeth: The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through...

Pikler, Emmi: Bulletin Number 14

ON *NURSING, *WEANING, *EATING

Bahr, Diane: Nobody Ever Told Me (or My Mother) That!: Everything from Bottle

Behan, Eileen: The Baby Food Bible: A Complete Guide to Feeding Your Child, from Infancy On

Curtis, Glade B.: Your Baby's First Year: Week by Week

Ernsperger, Lori: Just Take a Bite: Easy Effective Answers to Food Aversions and Eating 

Gerber, Magda: Caring for Infants with Respect

Haskvitz, Sylvia: Eat by Choice, Not by Habit

Kendall-Trackett, Kathleen: Breastfeeding Made Simple

Morell, Sally Fallon: The Nourishing Traditions Book of Baby & Child Care

Nagel, Ramiel: Cure Tooth Decay: Heal and Prevent Cavities with Nutrition

Pikler, Emmi: Bulletin Number 14

Rapley, Gill: Baby-led Weaning: Helping Your Baby to Love Good Food

Roth, Geneen: Women, Food and God

Satter, Ellyn: Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense, Revised and Updated Edition

Satter, Ellyn: How to Get Your Kid to Eat: But Not Too Much

Simkin, Penny, Janet Whalley, Ann Keppler: Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn

 

ON *POTTY TRAINING

Bauer, Ingrid: Diaper Free

Boucke, Laurie: Infant Potty Basics: With or Without Diapers the Natural Way

Gross-Loh, Christine: The Diaper-Free Baby: The Natural Toilet Training Alternative

Lekovic, Jill M.: Diaper Free Before 3: The Healthier Way to Toilet Train and Help...

ON *TEENS

Cohen-Sandler, Roni: Stressed-Out Girls: Helping Them Thrive in the Age of Pressure

Epstein, Robert: The Case Against Adolescence 

Faber, Adele: How to Talk so Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk

Glasser, William: Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom

Holt, John: Escape From Childhood

Kardaras, Nicholas: Glow Kids: How Screen Addiction Is Hijacking Our Kids

Levine, Judith: Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex

Neufeld, Gordon: Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers

Petten, Vanessa Van: You're Grounded!: How to Stop Fighting and Make the Teenage Years Easier

Rushton, Philippe J.: Race, Evolution, and Behavior: A Life History

Simmons, Rachel: The Curse of the Good Girl...

Silverstein, Olga: The Courage to Raise Good Men

Zelizer, Viviana A.: Pricing the Priceless Child: The Changing Social Value of

 

ON *CHILD PSYCHOLOGY, *DEVELOPMENT, *PARENTING

Alexander, Jessica Joelle: The Danish Way of Parenting: What the Happiest People…

Ames, Louise Bates: Your One-Year-Old: The Fun-Loving, Fussy 12-to24-Month-Old

Ames, Louise Bates: Your Two-Year-Old: Terrible or Tender

Ames, Louise Bates: Your Three-Year-Old: Friend or Enemy

Ames, Louise Bates: Your Four-Year-Old: Wild and Wonderful

Ames, Louise Bates: Your Five-Year-Old: Sunny and Serene

Ames, Louise Bates: Your Six-Year-Old: Loving and Defiant

Ames, Louise Bates: Your Seven-Year-Old: Life in a Minor Key

Ames, Louise Bates: Your Eight-Year-Old: Lively and Outgoing

Bahr, Diane: Nobody Ever Told Me (or My Mother) That!: Everything from Bottle

Bell-Villada, Gene H.: Writing Out of Limbo: International Childhoods, Global Nomads...

Bettelheim, Bruno: The Uses of Enchantment

Boland, Sue Erikson: In the Shadow of Fame

Brock, Barbara: Living Outside the Box

Bronson, Po: NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children

Brown, Brené: The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting: Raising Children with Courage, Compassion...

Cable, Mary: The Little Darlings: A History of Child Rearing in America

Caplan, Bryan: Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids: Why Being a Great Parent is Less Work...

Caplan, Frank: The Second Twelve Months of Life: Your Baby's Growth Month By Month

Cartmell, Todd: Keep the Siblings Lose the Rivalry: 10 Steps to Turn Your Kids into Teammates

Chua, Amy: Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

Cohen, Lawrence J.: Playful Parenting

Cohen-Sandler, Roni: Stressed-Out Girls: Helping Them Thrive in the Age of Pressure

Coulter, Dee Joy: Original Mind: Uncovering Your Natural Brilliance

Crowther, Ruth: Manly Manners

Curtis, Glade B.: Your Baby's First Year: Week by Week

DeMause, Lloyd: The History of Childhood: The Untold Story of Child Abuse

Dobson, James C.: The New Strong-Willed Child

Druckerman, Pamela: Brining Up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of...

Epstein, Robert: The Case Against Adolescence 

Erasmus: A Handbook on Good Manners for Children

Ernsperger, Lori: Just Take a Bite: Easy Effective Answers to Food Aversions and Eating

Faber, Adele: How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk

Faber, Adele: How to Talk so Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk

Faber, Adele: Liberated Parents, Liberated Children

Faber, Adele and Elaine Mazlish: Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live...

Fine, Cordelia: Delusions of Gender: How Our Minds, Society, and Neurosexism...

Friedan, Betty: The Feminine Mystique

Fromberg, Doris Pronin: Play from Birth to Twelve: Contexts, Perspectives, and Meanings

Frost, Jo: Jo Frost's Confident Baby Care: What You Need to Know the First year...

Galinsky, Ellen: Mind in the Making: The Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs

Gerber, Magda: Caring for Infants with Respect

Gerber, Magda: Your Self-Confident Baby: How to Encourage Your Child's Natural...

Gerber, Magda (edited by): The Resources for Infant Educarers

Gilbert, Roberta M.: The Eight Concepts of Bowen Theory

Ginott, Haim: Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic that Revolutionized...

Glasser, William: Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom

Gopnik, Alison: The Philosophical Baby: What Children's Minds Tell Us About Truth, Love...

Gopnik, Alison: The Scientist in the Crib: What Early Learning Tell Us About the Mind

Grossman, Dave: On Combat: The Psychology and Physiology of Deadly Conflict in War and...

Grossman, Dave: On Killing: The Psychological Cost of Learning to Kill in War

Gurian, Michael: Strategies for Teaching Boys and Girls – Elementary Level…

Harris, Judith Rich: The Nurture Assumption: Why Children Turn Out the Way They Do

Hart, Sara: Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids: 7 Keys to Turn Family Conflict into Cooperation

Hausner, Lee: Children of Paradise: Successful Parenting for Prosperous Families

Hendrix, Harville: Giving the Love that Heals: A Guide for Parents

Herrnstein, Richard J.: The Bell Curve: Intelligence and Class Structure in American Life

Hewlett, Barry: Hunter-Gatherer Childhoods: Evolutionary, Developmental...

Hogg, Tracy: Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with...

Hogg, Tracy: Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers

Holt, John: Escape From Childhood: The Needs and Rights of Children

Holt, John: How Children Learn

Hrdy, Sarah: Mother Nature: Maternal Instincts and How They Shape the Human Species

Hrdy, Sarah: The Woman That Never Evolved

Ingall, Marjorie: Mamaleh Knows Best: What Jewish Mothers Do to Raise Successful...

Kardaras, Nicholas: Glow Kids: How Screen Addiction Is Hijacking Our Kids

Karp, Harvey: The Happiest Baby on the Block

Karp, Harvey: The Happiest Toddler on the Block

Katch, Jane: Under Deadman's Skin: Discovering the Meaning of Children's Violent Play

Katie, Byron: Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

Kendall, Frances: Super Parents, Super Children

Kevill-Davies, Sally: Yesterday's Children: The Antiques and History of Childcare

Kindlon, Dan: Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys

Kohlberg, Lawrence: The Philosophy of Moral Development: Moral Stages and the Idea of Justice

Kohn, Alfie: Punished by Rewards: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A's, Praise...

Kohn, Alfie: Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and...

Korczak, Janusz: When I Am Little Again and the Child's Right to Respect

Kream, Rue, Parenting a Free Child: An Unschooled Life

Kuroyanagi, Tetsuko: Totto-chan: The Little Girl at the Window

Kusserow, Adrie: American Individualisms: Child Rearing and Social Class in Three...

Lawlis, Frank: The IQ Answer: Maximizing Your Child's Potential

Leo, Pam: Connection Parenting: Parenting Through Connection Instead of Coercion...

Levine, Judith: Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex

Levine, Madeline: The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage...

Lewis, Charlie: Children's Early Understanding of Mind: Origins and Development

LLewellyn, Grace: Real Lives: Eleven Teenagers Who Don't Go to School Tell Their Own Stories

Liedloff, Jean: The Continuum Concept: In Search of Happiness Lost

Lillard, Angeline Stoll: Montessori: The Science Behind the Genius

Lillard, Paula Polk: Montessori from the Start: The Child at Home, from Birth to Age Three

Lythcott-Haims, Julie: How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and...

Markham, Laura: Peaceful Parents, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting

Mason, Charlotte M.: Habits: The Mother’s Secret to Success

McGurk, Linda Akeson: There's No Such Thing as Bad Weather: A Scandinavian Mom's...

Miller, Alice: Prisoners of Childhood

Miller, Serena B.: More than Happy: The Wisdom of Amish Parenting

Montessori, Maria: Education for a New World

Montessori, Maria: The Child in the Family

Montessori, Maria: The Secret of Childhood

Morele, Anny: Children Have Rights

Neill, A.S.: Summerhill School: A New View of Childhood

Nelsen, Jane: Positive Discipline: The First Three Years: From Infant to Toddler...

Neufeld, Gordon: Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers

Paley, Vivian Gussin: A Child's Work: The Importance of Fantasy Play

Palmer, David: Parents' Guide to IQ Testing and Gifted Education: All You Need to Know...

Pearl, Michael: No Greater Joy

Pearl, Michael: To Train Up a Child

Peters, Ruth: Overcoming Underachieving: A Simple Plan to Boost Your Kids' Grades...

Petten, Vanessa Van: You're Grounded!: How to Stop Fighting and Make the Teenage Years Easier

Phelan, Thomas 1.: 1-2-3 Magic

Pikler, Emmi: Bulletin Number 14

Ripley, Amanda: The Smartest Kids in the World: And How They Got That Way

Rosenberg, Marshall B.: Raising Children Compassionately

Ruf, Deborah: 5 Levels of Gifted: School Issues and Educational Options

Rushton, Philippe J.: Race, Evolution, and Behavior: A Life History

Saltz, Gail: The Power of Different: The Link Between Disorder and Genius

Schlessinger, Laura: In Praise of Stay-at-Home-Moms

Shumaker, Heather: It's Okay NOT to Share

Silverstein, Olga: The Courage to Raise Good Men

Simmons, Rachel: The Curse of the Good Girl...

Skenazy, Lenore: Free-Range Kids: Giving Our Children the Freedom We Had Without...

Solter, Aletha Jauch: Tears and Tantrums: What to Do When Babies and Children Cry

Stallman, David: Harmony in the House: A Family Values Model

Steiner, Rudolf: The Kingdom of Childhood

Stephens, Flint J.: Mormon Parenting Secrets: Time-Tested Methods for Raising...

Teich, Jessica: Trees Make the Best Mobiles: Simple Ways to Raise Your Child in a Complex...

Thompson, Rebecca: Consciously Parenting: What it Really Takes to Raise Emotionally...

Tobin, Joseph: Preschool in Three Cultures Revisited: China, Japan, and the United States

Whiteley, Michael D.: Bright Minds, Poor Grades: Understanding and Motivating Your...

Willis, Thayer Cheatham: Navigating the Dark Side of Wealth: A Life Guide for Inheritors

Zande, Irene Van Der: 1, 2, 3... the Toddler Years: A Practical Guide for Parents...

Zaske, Sara: Achtung Baby: An American Mom on the German Art of Raising…

Zelizer, Viviana A.: Pricing the Priceless Child: The Changing Social Value of

documentaries

Babies

On Their Own With Our Help (RIE)

See How They Move (RIE)

See How They Play (RIE)

Seeing Infants With New Eyes (RIE)

The Baby Human 1

The Baby Human 2

papers

Gottlieb, Gilbert: On the Epigenetic Evolution of Species-Specific Perception: The Developmental...

 

ON *EDUCATION

Bahr, Diane: Nobody Ever Told Me (or My Mother) That!: Everything from Bottle

Bauer, Susan Wise: The Well-Trained Mind: A Guide to Classical Education at Home

Boyack, Connor: Skip College: Launch Your Career Without Debt, Distractions, or a Degree

Brock, Barbara: Living Outside the Box

Bronson, Po: NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children

Collins, Marva: Marva Collins' Way

Collins, Marva: Values: Lighting the Candle of Excellence: A Practical Guide...

Collins, Skyler J.: Everything Voluntary: From Politics to Parenting

Coulter, Dee Joy: Original Mind: Uncovering Your Natural Brilliance

Counts, George S.: Dare the School Build a New Social Order

Ellul, Jacques: Propaganda: The Formation of Men's Attitudes

Engelmann, Siegfried: Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons

Gatto, John Taylor: The Underground History of American Education

Gediman, Corinne L.: Brainfit: 10 Minutes a Day for a Sharper Mind and Memory

Golden, Daniel: Spy Schools: How the CIA, FBI, and Foreign Intelligence Secretly Exploit...

Gurian, Michael: Strategies for Teaching Boys and Girls – Elementary Level…

Harris, Judith Rich: The Nurture Assumption: Why Children Turn Out the Way They Do

Hainstock, Elizabeth G.: Teaching Montessori in the Home: The Preschool Years

Havelock, Ronald: The Change Agent's Guide to Innovation in Education

Herrnstein, Richard J.: The Bell Curve: Intelligence and Class Structure in American Life

Hofstadter, Richard: Anti-Intellectualism in American Life

Holt, John: Escape From Childhood

Holt, John: How Children Learn

Illich, Ivan: Deschooling Society

Iserbyt, Charlotte Thomson: The Deliberate Dumbing Down of America...

Jack, Anthony Abraham: The Privileged Poor: How Elite Colleges Are Failing

Jensen, Eric: Teaching with Poverty in Mind: What Being Poor Does to Kids' Brains...

Kardaras, Nicholas: Glow Kids: How Screen Addiction Is Hijacking Our Kids

Kohlberg, Lawrence: The Philosophy of Moral Development: Moral Stages and the Idea of Justice

Kohn, Alfie: Punished by Rewards: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A's, Praise...

Kream, Rue, Parenting a Free Child: An Unschooled Life

Kusserow, Adrie: American Individualisms: Child Rearing and Social Class in Three...

Lawlis, Frank: The IQ Answer: Maximizing Your Child's Potential

Lewis, Charlie: Children's Early Understanding of Mind: Origins and Development

Lillard, Angeline Stoll: Montessori: The Science Behind the Genius

Lillard, Paula Polk: Montessori from the Start: The Child at Home, from Birth to Age Three

Lionni, Paolo: Basics in Education 1: The Leipzig Connection

LLewellyn, Grace: Real Lives: Eleven Teenagers Who Don't Go to School Tell Their Own Stories

Martin, Dayna: Radical Unschooling: A Revolution Has Begin, Revised Edition 2

Mason, Charlotte M.: Habits: The Mother’s Secret to Success

Montessori, Maria: Education for a New World

Montessori, Maria: The Child in the Family

Montessori, Maria: The Secret of Childhood

Neill, A.S.: Summerhill School: A New View of Childhood

Palmer, David: Parents' Guide to IQ Testing and Gifted Education: All You Need to Know...

Paul, Ron: The School Revolution: A New Answer for Our Broken Education System

Peikoff, Leonard: Teaching Johnny to Think

Perlmutter, David: Raise a Smarter Child by Kindergarten: Raise IQ Up to 30 Points and...

Peters, Ruth: Overcoming Underachieving: A Simple Plan to Boost Your Kids' Grades...

Pitamic, Maja: Child's Play: Montessori Games and Activities for Your Baby and Toddler

Pulliam, John D: The History and Social Foundations of American Education

Ripley, Amanda: The Smartest Kids in the World: And How They Got That Way

Rand, Ayn: Comprachicos (essay)

Robinson, Ken: The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything

Ruf, Deborah: 5 Levels of Gifted: School Issues and Educational Options

Saltz, Gail: The Power of Different: The Link Between Disorder and Genius

Sigman, Aric: Remotely Controlled: How Television is Damaging Our Lives

Steinberg, Jacques: The Gatekeepers: Inside the Admissions Process of a Premier College

Steiner, Rudolf: The Kingdom of Childhood

Stier, Debbie: The Perfect Score: Uncovering the Secrets of the SAT

Sommers, Christina Hoff: The War Against Boys: How Misguided Policies Are…

Sowell, Thomas: Intellectuals and Society

Tobin, Joseph: Preschool in Three Cultures Revisited: China, Japan, and the United States

Whiteley, Michael D.: Bright Minds, Poor Grades: Understanding and Motivating Your...

Zelizer, Viviana A.: Pricing the Priceless Child: The Changing Social Value of…

documentaries & Ted Talks

Ken Robinson Says Schools Kill Creativity

Kiran Sethi: Kids, Take Charge

Sugata Mitra: Kids Can Teach Themselves

Sugata Mitra: Build a School in the Cloud

papers

Gottlieb, Gilbert: On the Epigenetic Evolution of Species-Specific Perception: The Developmental...

ON *FANTASY, *STORY-TELLING, *THEORY OF MIND

Bettelheim, Bruno: The Uses of Enchantment: The Meaning and Importance of Fairy Tales

Boghossian, Paul: Fear of Knowledge: Against Relativism and Constructivism

Campbell, Joeseph: Myth and the Individual (lecture series)

Campbell, Joeseph: The Hero with a Thousand Faces 

Campbell, Joeseph: The Power of Myth

Coulter, Dee Joy: Original Mind: Uncovering Your Natural Brilliance

Ellul, Jacques: Propaganda: The Formation of Men's Attitudes

Fromberg, Doris Pronin: Play from Birth to Twelve: Contexts, Perspectives, and Meanings

Gottschall, Jonathan: The Literary Animal: The Evolution and the Nature of Narrative

Hagen, Uta: A Challenge for the Actor

Katch, Jane: Under Deadman's Skin: Discovering the Meaning of Children's Violent Play

Kohlberg, Lawrence: The Philosophy of Moral Development: Moral Stages and the Idea of Justice

Jensen, Eric: Teaching with Poverty in Mind: What Being Poor Does to Kids' Brains...

Lewis, Charlie: Children's Early Understanding of Mind: Origins and Development

Lillard, Angeline Stoll: Montessori: The Science Behind the Genius

Mann, Frederick, The Anatomy of Slavespeak

Marks, Dara: Inside Story: The Power of the Transformational Arc

Montessori, Maria: Education for a New World

Montessori, Maria: The Child in the Family

Montessori, Maria: The Secret of Childhood

Paley, Vivian Gussin: A Child's Work: The Importance of Fantasy Play

Peikoff, Leonard: Teaching Johnny to Think

Rand, Ayn: Comprachicos (essay)

Rand, Ayn: Introduction to Objectivist Epistemology

Ripley, Amanda: The Smartest Kids in the World: And How They Got That Way

Sainsbury, R.M.: Fiction and Fictionalism

Singer, Jerome L: Daydreaming and Fantasy

Smilansky, Sara: The Effects Of Sociodramatic Play On Disadvantaged Preschool Children 

Thomasson, Amie L., Fiction and Metaphysics

Tobin, Joseph: Preschool in Three Cultures Revisited: China, Japan, and the United States

Winnicott, D.W.: Playing and Reality

Žižek, Slavoj: The Plague of Fantasies

Zunshine, Lisa: Why We Read Fiction: Theory of Mind and the Novel

 

ON *IQ, *HIGH IQ PSYCHOLOGY, *GIFTED CHILDREN

Daniels, Susan: Living with Intensity

Aron, Elaine N. The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You

Aron, Elaine N. The Highly Sensitive Person in Love

Herrnstein, Richard J.: The Bell Curve: Intelligence and Class Structure in American Life

Jack, Anthony Abraham: The Privileged Poor: How Elite Colleges Are Failing

Lawlis, Frank: The IQ Answer: Maximizing Your Child's Potential

Larche, Maggie M.: The Queen of Distraction: How Women with ADHD Can Conquer...

Miele, Frank: Intelligence, Race, and Genetics: Conversations with Arthur R.

Miller, Alice: Prisoners of Childhood
Murray, Charles: Coming Apart: The State of White America, 1960-2010

Murray, Charles: Human Diversity: The Biology of Gender, Race and Class

Palmer, David: Parents' Guide to IQ Testing and Gifted Education: All You Need to Know...

Perlmutter, David: Raise a Smarter Child by Kindergarten: Raise IQ Up to 30 Points and...

Quinn, Karen: Testing for Kindergarten: Simple Strategies to Help Your Child Ace the Tests...

Ruf, Deborah: 5 Levels of Gifted: School Issues and Educational Options

Rushton, Philippe J.: Race, Evolution, and Behavior: A Life History

Saltz, Gail: The Power of Different: The Link Between Disorder and Genius

Sowell, Thomas: Intellectuals and Society

 

ON PHYSICAL *HEALTH, *SCIENCE, *NUTRITION, *DNA (NATURE)

Balch, James F.: Prescription for Natural Cures

Balch, Phyllis A.: Prescription for Nutritional Healing

Behan, Eileen: The Baby Food Bible: A Complete Guide to Feeding Your Child, from Infancy On

Bennett, Connie and Stephen Sinatra: Sugar Shock!: How Sweets and Simple Carbs Can...

Blanc, Paul D.: How Everyday Products Make People Sick: Toxins at Home and in the Workplace

Blaylock, Russell L. and George R. Schwartz:  Excitotoxins: The Taste that Kills 

Buhner, Stephen Harrod: Sacred and Herbal Healing Beers: The Secrets of Ancient Fermentation

Caldarelli, Guido: Networks: A Very Short Introduction

Campbell-McBride, Natasha: GAPS Stories

Cherniske, Stephen: Caffeine Blues: Wake Up to the Hidden Dangers of America's #1 Drug

Cordain, Loren: The Paleo Diet

Davis, William: Wheat Belly: Lose the Wheat, Lose the Weight, and Find Your Path Back to Health

Dawkins, Richard: The Selfish Gene

Dehaene, Stanislas: Consciousness and the Brain: Deciphering How the Brain Codes Our...

Diamond, Harvey: Fit for Life

Douglass, William Campbell: The Milk Book

Fitzgerald, Randall: The Hundred-Year Lie: How Food and Medicine Are Destroying Your...

Francis, Richard C.: Epigenetics: The Ultimate Mystery of Inheritance

Fulder, Stephen: The Ginger Book: The Ultimate Home Remedy

Gayre, Robert: Brewing Mead: Wassail! In Masers of Mead: The Intriguing History of the...

Gokhale, Esther: 8 Steps to a Pain Free Back: Natural Posture Solutions for Pain in...

Gordain, Loren: The Paleo Diet: Lose Weight and Get Healthy by Eating the Food You Were...

Grohman, Joann S.: Keeping a Family Cow: The Complete Guide for Home-Scale Holistic...

Grosvenor, Mary B.: Nutrition: From Science To Life

Guiliano, Mireille: French Women Don't Get Fat: The Secret of Eating for Pleasure 

Gullo, Stephen: Thin Tastes Better 

Haskvitz, Sylvia: Eat by Choice, Not by Habit

Hendel, Amy: Fat Families, Thin Families: How to Save Your Family

Hill, John: The Old Man’s Guide to Health Longer Life

Hoang, Letrinh: Osteopathy for Children: Holistic and Natural Treatments for the...

Huggins, Hal A.: Why Raise Ugly Kids? How You Can Fulfill Your Child’s Health

Hrdy, Sarah: Mother Nature: Maternal Instincts and How They Shape the Human Species

Hrdy, Sarah: The Woman That Never Evolved

Hunter, Beatrice Trum: Probiotic Foods for Good Health

Inaba, Darryl S.: Uppers, Downers, All Arounders: Physical And Mental Effects Of...

Julien, Ronni: The Trans Fat Free Kitchen: Simple  Recipes, Shopping Guide and Restaurant Tips

Karr-Morse, Robin: Scared Sick: The Role of Childhood Trauma in Adult Disease

Katz, Sandor Ellix: Wild Fermentation: The Flavor, Nutrition, and Craft of Live-Cultured Foods

Loyd, Alexander: The Healing Code: 6 Minutes to Heal the Source of Your Health, Success, and...

McKeown, Patrick: Buteyko Meets Dr Mew, Buteyko Method for Teenagers, Also...

Mendelsohn, Robert S.: How to Raise a Healthy Child in Spite of Your Doctor

Menzel, Peter: Man Eating Bugs: The Art and Science of Eating Insects

Mintz, Sisney: Sweetness and Power: The Place of Sugar in Modern History

Morell, Sally Fallon: Nourishing Traditions: The Cookbook that Challenges Politically...

Morell, Sally Fallon: The Nourishing Traditions Book of Baby & Child Care

Murray, Charles: Human Diversity: The Biology of Gender, Race and Class

Nagel, Ramiel: Cure Tooth Decay: Heal and Prevent Cavities with Nutrition

Nearing, Helen: The Good Life: Helen and Scott Nearing's Sixty Years of Self-Sufficient Living

Olmstead, Larry: Real Food/Fake Food: Why You Don't Know What You're Eating and...

Pagano, John O.A.: Healing Psoriasis: The Natural Alternative

Planck, Nina: Real Food for Mother and Baby: The Fertility Diet, Eating for Two, and...

Pollan, Michael: Omnivore's Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meals

Pottenger, Francis Marion: Pottenger's Cats: A Study in Nutrition

Price, Weston A.: Nutrition and Physical Degeneration: A Comparison of Primitive and...

Rapley, Gill: Baby-led Weaning: Helping Your Baby to Love Good Food

Roth, Geneen: Women, Food and God

Rushton, Philippe J.: Race, Evolution, and Behavior: A Life History

Salatin, Joel: Everything I Want to Do Is Illegal: War Stories from the Local Food Front

Satter, Ellyn: Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense, Revised and Updated Edition

Satter, Ellyn: How to Get Your Kid to Eat: But Not Too Much

Sawyer, Thea: Put Your Back at Ease: Secrets of Pain-Free Posture for Health, Energy and...

Schlosser, Eric: Fast Food Nation: The Dark Side of the All-American Meal

Schmid, Ron: The Untold Story of Milk

Schramm, Ken: The Complete Meadmaker: Home Production of Honey Wine from Your...

Sears, Robert: The Vaccine Book: Making the Right Decision for Your Child

Singer, Katie: Honoring Our Cycles: A Natural Family Planning Workbook

Sisson, Mark: The Primal Blueprint 21-Day Total Body Transformation...

Swan, Shanna H.: Countdown: How Our Modern World Is Threatening Sperm…

Sykes, Bryan: Saxons, Vikings, and Celts: The Genetic Roots of Britain and Ireland

Szasz, Thomas: The Medicalization of Everyday Life: Selected Essays

Szasz, Thomas: The Myth of Psychotherapy

Tannahill, Reay: Food in History 

Thomas, Pat: What's In This Stuff?

Thusius, Angelika: Kentro Body Balance: The Secret Pleasures of Posture

Torborg, Jen: Your Best Body After Baby: A Postpartum Guide to Exercise, Sex, and Pelvic…

Torborg, Jen: Your Best Pregnancy Every: 9 Healthy Habits to Empower You in Pregnancy…

Trudeau, Kevin: Natural Cures "They" Don't Want You to Know About

documentaries

An Inconvenient Truth

Bigger, Stronger, Faster

Dying to Have Known

Food, Inc.

Forks Over Knives

Frontline: Sick Around America

Frontline: Sick Around the World

Frontline: The Medicated Child

Frontline: The Vaccine War

Inside the Living Body

Killer at Large: Why Obesity is America's Greatest Threat

King Corn

Kings of Pastry

March of the Penguins

No Impact Man

Orgasm, Inc.

Our Daily Bread

Sicko

Stress: Portrait of a Killer

Super Size Me

The Future of Food

The Science of Sex Appeal

What the Bleep Do We Know?

papers

Gottlieb, Gilbert: On the Epigenetic Evolution of Species-Specific Perception: The Developmental...

ON *SOCIAL CLASS, *MONEY

Bodnar, Janet: Raising Money Smart Kids: What They Need to Know About Money and How...

Boehm, Christopher: Hierarchy in the Forest: The Evolution of Egalitarian Behavior

Fussell, Paul: Class: A Guide Through the American Status System

Godfrey, Joline: Raising Financially Fit Kids

Hausner, Lee: Children of Paradise: Successful Parenting for Prosperous Families

Hausner, Lee: The Legacy Family: The Definitive Guide to Creating a Successful...

Herrnstein, Richard J.: The Bell Curve: Intelligence and Class Structure in American Life

Hrdy, Sarah: Mother Nature: Maternal Instincts and How They Shape the Human Species

Hrdy, Sarah: The Woman That Never Evolved

Jack, Anthony Abraham: The Privileged Poor: How Elite Colleges Are Failing

Jensen, Barbara: Reading Classes

Jensen, Eric: Teaching with Poverty in Mind: What Being Poor Does to Kids' Brains...

Kiyosaki, Robert T: Rich Dad's Escape from the Rat Race: How to Become a Rich Kid by...

Kusserow, Adrie: American Individualisms: Child Rearing and Social Class in Three...

Lansberg, Ivan: Succeeding Generations: Realizing the Dream of Families in Business

Levine, Madeline: The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage...

MacDonald, Kevin B.:  A People that Shall Dwell Alone: Judaism as a Group…

Murray, Charles: Coming Apart: The State of White America, 1960-2010

Murray, Charles: Human Diversity: The Biology of Gender, Race and Class

Nearing, Helen: The Good Life: Helen and Scott Nearing's Sixty Years of Self-Sufficient Living

O'Hara, William T.: Centuries of Success

Redbeard, Ragnar: Might is Right

Redbeard, Ragnar: The Sayings of Redbeard

Riahi-Belkaoui, Ahmed: Social Status Matters

Sowell, Thomas: Intellectuals and Race

Stanley, Thomas: The Millionaire Next Door: The Surprising Secrets of America's Wealthy

Taylor, Edmond: The Fall of the Dynasties: The Collapse of the Old Order 1905-1922

Tennant, Christopher: The Official Filthy Rich Handbook

Thorndike Jr., Joseph J.: The Very Rich: A History of Wealth

West, J.B.: Upstairs at the Whitehouse: My Life with the First Ladies

Willis, Thayer Cheatham: Navigating the Dark Side of Wealth: A Life Guide for Inheritors

documentaries

Born Rich: The Children of the Insanely Wealthy

The Aristocrats: The Rothschilds

The Last Dukes 

ON *FAMILY, *DYNASTIES, *TRADITIONS

Angus, Patricia: Pritzker Family Enterprise: A Family Governance Case Study

Aries, Philippe: Centuries of Childhood: A Social History of Family Life

Bladridge, Letitia: New Manners for New Times: A Complete Guide to Etiquette

Boland, Sue Erikson: In the Shadow of Fame

Bonner, Bill: Family Fortunes: How to Build Family Wealth and Hold on to It for 100 Years

Brenner, Joel Glen: Life on Mars: The Mars Family Saga Has All the Classic Elements (article)

Campbell, Joeseph: The Power of Myth

Clark, Gregory: The Son Also Rises: Surnames and the History of Social Mobility

Cohen, Shayne J.D.: The Jewish Family in Antiquity

Friedan, Betty: The Feminine Mystique

Fussell, Paul: Class: A Guide Through the American Status System

Harris, Judith Rich: The Nurture Assumption: Why Children Turn Out the Way They Do

Hausner, Lee: The Legacy Family: The Definitive Guide to Creating a Successful...

Horwitz, Steven: Hayek's Modern Family: Classical Liberalism and the Evolution of Social..

Hughes Jr., James E.: Family: The Compact Among Generations

Kenyon-Rouvinez, Denise H.: Sharing Wisdom, Building Values: Letters from Family...

MacDonald, Kevin B.:  A People that Shall Dwell Alone: Judaism as a Group…

MacDonald, Kevin: Separation and Its Discontents Toward an Evolutionary Theory of…

MacDonald, Kevin: The Culture of Critique: An Evolutionary Analysis of Jewish…

Morrison, Dorothy: Yule: A Celebration of Light and Warmth

Lansberg, Ivan: Succeeding Generations: Realizing the Dream of Families in Business

Nietzsche, Friedrich: On the Genealogy of Morality & Other Writings

Nietzsche, Friedrich: Twilight of the Idols

Neufeld, Gordon: Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers

O'Hara, William T.: Centuries of Success

Pfeffer, Wendy: The Shortest Day: Celebrating the Winter Solstice

Redbeard, Ragnar: Might is Right

Redbeard, Ragnar: The Sayings of Redbeard

Rogers, Nicholas: Halloween: From Pagan Ritual to Party Night

Rose, Elizabeth R.: A Mother's Job: The History of Day Care, 1890-1960

Rushton, Philippe J.: Race, Evolution, and Behavior: A Life History

Schlessinger, Laura: In Praise of Stay-at-Home-Moms

Sowell, Thomas: Intellectuals and Race

Stanley, Thomas: The Millionaire Next Door: The Surprising Secrets of America's Wealthy

Stearns, Peter N.: Childhood in World History

Taraborrelli, J. Randy: The Hiltons: A Family Dynasty

Taylor, Edmond: The Fall of the Dynasties: The Collapse of the Old Order 1905-1922

Thompson, Jennifer Trainer: The Joy of Family Traditions...

Thorndike Jr., Joseph J.: The Very Rich: A History of Wealth

Triandis, Harry C: Individualism and Collectivism

Wade, Nicholas: A Troublesome Inheritance: Genes, Race, and Human History

Wallace, Carol: All Dressed in White: The Irresistible Rise of the American Wedding

West, J.B.: Upstairs at the Whitehouse: My Life with the First Ladies

Willis, Thayer Cheatham: Navigating the Dark Side of Wealth: A Life Guide for Inheritors

Zelizer, Viviana A.: Pricing the Priceless Child: The Changing Social Value of…

Zilg, Gerlad Colby: Dupont: Behind the Nylon Curtain

documentaries

Born Rich: The Children of the Insanely Wealthy

ON *RACE (NURTURE), *CULTURE, *THIRD CULTURE KIDS

Beale, Fleur: Sins of the Father: The Long Shadow of a Religious Cult

Bell-Villada, Gene H.: Writing Out of Limbo: International Childhoods, Global Nomads...

Bushong, Lois: Belonging Everywhere and Nowhere: Insights Into Counseling the Globally Mobile

Harris, Judith Rich: The Nurture Assumption: Why Children Turn Out the Way They Do

Jensen, Eric: Teaching with Poverty in Mind: What Being Poor Does to Kids' Brains...

MacDonald, Kevin B.:  A People that Shall Dwell Alone: Judaism as a Group

MacDonald, Kevin: Separation and Its Discontents Toward an Evolutionary Theory of…

MacDonald, Kevin: The Culture of Critique: An Evolutionary Analysis of Jewish…

Magnus, Olaus: Olaus Magnus, a Description of the Northern Peoples, 1555…

Miele, Frank: Intelligence, Race, and Genetics: Conversations with Arthur R.

Murray, Charles: Coming Apart: The State of White America, 1960-2010

Murray, Charles: Human Diversity: The Biology of Gender, Race and Class

Redbeard, Ragnar: Might is Right

Rushton, Philippe J.: Race, Evolution, and Behavior: A Life History

Anderson, John Louis: Scandinavian Humor and Other Myths

Sowell, Thomas: Intellectuals and Race

Triandis, Harry C: Individualism and Collectivism

Wade, Nicholas: A Troublesome Inheritance: Genes, Race, and Human History

 

ON *ADULT PSYCHOLOGY, *PHILOSOPHY, *RELIGION

Abraham, Laurie: The Husbands and Wives Club: A Year in the Life of a Couples Therapy Group

Alexander, Christopher: A Pattern Language: Towns, Buildings, Construction

Alexander, Christopher: The Battle for the Life and Beauty of the Earth

Alexander, Christopher: The Phenomenon of Life

Alexander, Christopher: The Process of Creating Life

Allen, David: Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress Free Productivity

Aries, Philippe: The Hour of Our Death

Aron, Elaine N. The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You

Aron, Elaine N. The Highly Sensitive Person in Love

Aurelius, Marcus: Meditations

Beale, Fleur: Sins of the Father: The Long Shadow of a Religious Cult

Beattie, Melody: Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others...

Beck, Martha N.: Leaving the Saints: How I Lost the Mormons and Found My Faith

Becker, Gavin de: The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals that Protect Us from Violence

Beeler, Todd: The 7 Hidden Secrets of Motivation: Unlocking the Genius Within

Berger, Arthur Asa: Blind Men and Elephants: Perspectives on Humor

Biale, David: Hasidism: A New History

Blanton, Brad: Radical Honesty: How to Transform Your Life by Telling the Truth

Block, Walter: The Case for Discrimination

Boehm, Christopher: Hierarchy in the Forest: The Evolution of Egalitarian Behavior

Boghossian, Paul: Fear of Knowledge: Against Relativism and Constructivism

Boland, Sue Erikson: In the Shadow of Fame

Boothman, Nicholas: How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less

Branden, Nathaniel: A Woman's Self-Esteem

Branden, Nathaniel: Honoring the Self

Branden, Nathaniel: Taking Responsibility

Branden, Nathaniel: My Years With Ayn Rand

Branden, Nathaniel: The Art of Living Consciously

Branden, Nathaniel: The Romantic Love Question and Answer Book

Branden, Nathaniel: The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

Branden, Nathaniel: The Vision Of Ayn Rand: The Basic Principles Of Objectivism

Brach, Tara: Radical Self-acceptance 

Brandt, Andrea: Mindful Anger: A Pathway to Emotional Freedom

Brock, Barbara: Living Outside the Box

Brodie, Richard: Virus of the Mind: The New Science of the Meme

Brombert, Victor: Musings on Mortality: From Tolstoy to Primo Levi

Burkeman, Oliver: Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals

Bushong, Lois: Belonging Everywhere and Nowhere: Insights Into Counseling the Globally Mobile

Byrne, Rhonda: The Secret

Caldarelli, Guido: Networks: A Very Short Introduction

Calman, Susan: Cheer Up, Love: Adventures in Depression with the Crab of Hate

Cameron, Julia: The Artist's Way

Cameron, Julia: Walking in this World

Campbell, Joeseph: Myth and the Individual (lecture series)

Campbell, Joeseph: The Hero With a Thousand Faces 

Campbell, Joeseph: The Power of Myth

Carabini, Louis E.: Inclined to Liberty: The Futile Attempt to Suppress the Human Spirit

Carlyle, Thomas: On Heroes, Hero Worship and the Heroic in History

Carnegie, Dale: How to Win Friends and Influence People

Christakis, Nicholas A.: Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How...

Cialdini, Robert B.: Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion

Cicero, Quintus Tullius: How to Win an Election

Cicero, Quintus Tullius: Treatises on Friendship and Old Age

Clason, George S.: The Richest Man in Babylon

Cohen, Shayne J.D.: The Jewish Family in Antiquity

Coulter, Dee Joy: Original Mind: Uncovering Your Natural Brilliance

Covey, Stephen R.: The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People 

Covey, Stephen R.: The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People and The 8th Habit

Craker, Lorilee: Money Secrets of the Amish: Finding True Abundance in

Daniels, Susan: Living with Intensity

Dehaene, Stanislas: Consciousness and the Brain: Deciphering How the Brain Codes Our...

Duke, Annie: Thinking in Bets: Making Smarter Decisions When You Don’t

Goleman, Daniel: Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ

Goleman, Daniel: Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships

Dweck, Carol S.: Mindset: The New Psychology of Success

Ehrman, Bart D.: The Triumph of Christianity: How a Small Band of Outcasts Conquered...

Ellul, Jacques: Propaganda: The Formation of Men's Attitudes

Epicurus: The Essential Epicurus

Erikson, Erik H.: The Life Cycle Completed

Graber, Rebecca Borntrager: My Amish Story: Breaking Generations of Silence

Feldman, Deborah: Unorthodox: The scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots

Ferriss, Timothy: The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich

Fine, Cordelia: Delusions of Gender: How Our Minds, Society, and Neurosexism...

Foucault, Michel: The History of Sexuality 1: An Introduction

Frankl, Viktor E.: Man's Search for Meaning

Friedan, Betty: The Feminine Mystique

Gilbert, Roberta M.: The Eight Concepts of Bowen Theory

Glasser, William: Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom

Gordon, Mordechai: Humor, Laughter and Human Flourishing: A Philosophical Exploration...

Gottwald, Norman K.: The Hebrew Bible: A Brief Socio-Literary Introduction

Greene, Robert: The Art of Seduction 

Gray, Peter B.: Evolution and Human Sexual Behavior

Grossman, Dave: On Combat: The Psychology and Physiology of Deadly Conflict in War and...

Grossman, Dave: On Killing: The Psychological Cost of Learning to Kill in War

Hardy: Benjamin P.: Willpower Doesn’t Work: Discover the Hidden Keys…

Harris, Sam: Lying

Haskvitz, Sylvia: Eat by Choice, Not by Habit

Hastings, Anne Stirling: Healing Humanity: Life Without Shame

Hastings, Anne Stirling: Create New Love: How Men and Women Can Prepare for a Lasting...

Havelock, Ronald: The Change Agent's Guide to Innovation in Education

Hay, Louise L.: The Power Is Within You

Herrnstein, Richard J.: The Bell Curve: Intelligence and Class Structure in American Life

Hofstadter, Richard: Anti-Intellectualism in American Life

Hrdy, Sarah: Mother Nature: Maternal Instincts and How They Shape the Human Species

Hrdy, Sarah: The Woman That Never Evolved

Hunter, Edward: Brainwashing

Kane, Ariel: How to Create a Magical Relationship: The 3 Simple Ideas that Will...

Karr-Morse, Robin: Scared Sick: The Role of Childhood Trauma in Adult Disease

Katherine, Anne: Where to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day

Katie, Byron: Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

Kelley, David: A Theory of Abstraction

Kelley, David: Myths About Ayn Rand

Kierkegaard, Soren: Fear and Trembling

Kingston, Karen: Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui

Kirkby, Mary-Ann: I Am Hutterite: The Fascinating True Story of a Young

Kohlberg, Lawrence: The Philosophy of Moral Development: Moral Stages and the Idea of Justice

Kraybill, Donald B: The Amish and the State

Kubler-Ross, Elisabeth: Death: The final Stage of Growth

Kusher, Harold S.: Overcoming Life's Disappointments: Learning from Moses How to Cope with...

Kusher, Harold S.: When Bad Things Happen to Good People

Kusher, Harold S.: When All You've Ever Wanted Isn't Enough: The Search for a Life that...

Levine, Amir: Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment

Lindstrom, Martin: Brandwashed: Tricks Companies Use to Manipulate Our Minds and...

MacDonald, Kevin B.:  A People that Shall Dwell Alone: Judaism as a Group… 

MacDonald, Kevin: Separation and Its Discontents Toward an Evolutionary Theory of…

MacDonald, Kevin: The Culture of Critique: An Evolutionary Analysis of Jewish…

Machiavelli, Niccolo: The Prince

Mann, Frederick, The Anatomy of Slavespeak

Masters, William H. and Virginia E. Johnson: Heterosexuality

Mayhew, Robert: Ayn Rand Answers: The Best of Her Q & A

McGonigal, Kelly: The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters...

McKeown, Greg: Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less

McMahon, Darrin M.: Divine Fury: A History of Genius

McMahon, Darrin M.: Happiness: A History

Mesquita, Brude Bueno de: The Dictator's Handbook: Why Bad Behavior is Almost Always...

Miele, Frank: Intelligence, Race, and Genetics: Conversations with Arthur R.

Miller, Alice: Prisoners of Childhood

Murray, Charles: Human Diversity: The Biology of Gender, Race and Class

Muterspaw, Rodney: The Blue View: The Uncut Journal of an Ohio Police

Nearing, Helen: The Good Life: Helen and Scott Nearing's Sixty Years of Self-Sufficient Living

Neimeyer, Robert A.: Constructivism in Psychotherapy

Nietzsche, Friedrich: Human, All Too Human

Nietzsche, Friedrich: On the Genealogy of Morality & Other Writings

Nietzsche, Friedrich: Philosophy in the Tragic Age of the Greeks

Nietzsche, Friedrich: Thus Spoke Zarathustra

Nietzsche, Friedrich: Twilight of the Idols

Nietzsche, Frederich: Untimely Meditations

Ortega y Gasset, Jose: The Revolt of the Masses

Patent, Arnold M.: You Can Have It All

Pausch, Randy: The Last Lecture

Pearson, Carol S.: The Hero Within: Six Archetypes We Live By

Peck, M. Scott: The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values...

Peterson, Jordan B. 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos

Peterson, Jordan B.: Beyond Order: 12 More Rules For Life

Plato: Apology

Quinn, Daniel: The Story of B (The 100 pages of philosophy at the end of this fiction book)

Rand, Ayn: Introduction to Objectivist Epistemology

Rand, Ayn: Philosophy: Who Needs It

Rand, Ayn: The Return of the Primitive: The Anti-Industrial Revolution

Rand, Ayn: The Romantic Manifesto

Rand, Ayn: The Virtue of Selfishness

Redbeard, Ragnar: Might is Right

Redbeard, Ragnar: The Sayings of Redbeard

Riahi-Belkaoui, Ahmed: Social Status Matters

Robinett, Judy: How to Be a Power Connector: The 5 + 50 + 100 Rule for Turning Your...

Robinson, Bryan E.: Chained to the Desk: A Guidebook for Workaholics, Their Partners...

Robinson, Ken: The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything

Rosenberg, Marshall B.: Non-Violent Communication

Rosenberg, Marshall B.: Speaking Peace: Connecting With Others Through Nonviolent...

Rothbard, Murray N.: For a New Liberty: The Libertarian Manifesto

Ruiz, Miguel: The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom

Sage: Carnelian: The Greatest Manifestation Principle in the World: The Missing Secret Behind...

Saltz, Gail: The Power of Different: The Link Between Disorder and Genius

Schopenhauer, Arthur: The Wisdom of Life

Schwartz, Barry: The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less

Seneca: On the Shortness of Life

Shames, Laurence: Not Fade Away: A Short Life Well Lived

Southern, Ed: The Jamestown Adventure: Accounts of the Virginia Colony

Sowell, Thomas: Intellectuals and Race

Sowell, Thomas: Intellectuals and Society

Storr, Anthony: Freud: A Very Short Introduction

Snorri, Sturluson: The Prose Edda

Szasz, Thomas: The Medicalization of Everyday Life: Selected Essays

Szasz, Thomas: The Myth of Psychotherapy

Taleb, Nassim Nicholas: Antifragile: Things That Gain from Disorder

Thoreau, Henry David: Walden

Tolle, Eckhart: A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose 

Torres, Louis: What Art Is: The Esthetic Theory of Ayn Rand

Triandis, Harry C: Individualism and Collectivism

Unwin, J.D.: Sex and Culture

Wade, Joel F.: Mastering Happiness: Ten Principles for Practicing a More Fulfilling Life

Washburn, LK: Is the Bible Worth Reading

Wesner, Erik: Success Made Simple: An Inside Look at Why Amish Businesses

Westover, Tara: Educated

Winget, Larry: Shut Up, Stop Whining, and Get a Life: A Kick-Butt Approach to a Better Life 

Wu, Tim: The Attention Merchants: The Epic Scramble to Get Inside Our Heads

documentaries

Stefana Broadbent: How the Internet Enables Intimacy (ted talk)

Brene Brown: The Power of Vulnerability (ted talk)

Cindy Gallop: Make Love, Not Porn (ted talk)

Dan Dennett: Cute, Sexy, Sweet, Funny (ted talk)

Alice Dreger: Is Anatomy Destiny? (ted talk)

Helen Fisher: Why We Love and Cheat (ted talk)

Rufus Griscom & Alisa Vokman: Let's Talk Parenting Taboos (ted talk)

Caroline Heldman: The Sexy Lie (tedx talk)

John Hodgman: Aliens, Love -- Where Are They? (ted talk)

Mary Roach: 10 Things You Didn't Know About Orgasm (ted talk)

Julia Sweeny Has 'The Talk' (ted talk)

The Science of Sex Appeal

Mechai Viravaidya: How Mr. Condom Made Thailand a Better Place (ted talk)

Paul Zak: Trust, Morality and Oxytocin (ted talk)

What the Bleep Do We Know

 

ON *POLITICS, *SOCIETY, *HIERARCHY

Anderson, John Louis: Scandinavian Humor and Other Myths

Aries, Philippe: Centuries of Childhood: A Social History of Family Life

Assange, Julian: When Google Met Wikileaks

Baldridge, Letitia: New Manners for New Times: A Complete Guide to Etiquette

Becker, Gavin de: The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals that Protect Us from Violence

Boehm, Christopher: Hierarchy in the Forest: The Evolution of Egalitarian Behavior

Booth, Michael: The Almost Nearly Perfect People: Behind the Myth of the Scandinavian Utopia

Block, Walter: The Case for Discrimination

Caldarelli, Guido: Networks: A Very Short Introduction

Campbell, Joeseph: Myth and the Individual (lecture series)

Campbell, Joeseph: The Hero With a Thousand Faces 

Campbell, Joeseph: The Power of Myth

Carabini, Louis E.: Inclined to Liberty: The Futile Attempt to Suppress the Human Spirit

Carnegie, Dale: How to Win Friends and Influence People

Christakis, Nicholas A.: Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How...

Cicero, Quintus Tullius: How to Win an Election

Collins, Skyler J.: Everything Voluntary: From Politics to Parenting

Craker, Lorilee: Money Secrets of the Amish: Finding True Abundance in

Diamond, Jared: Guns, Germs, and Steel

Diamond, Jared: Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed

Ehrman, Bart D.: The Triumph of Christianity: How a Small Band of Outcasts Conquered...

Ellul, Jacques: Propaganda: The Formation of Men's Attitudes

Epicurus: The Essential Epicurus

Farrell, Warren: The Myth of Male Power

Foucault, Michel: Discipline and Punish

Fukuyama, Francis: The Origins of Political Order: From Prehuman Times to the French...

Fussell, Paul: Class: A Guide Through the American Status System

Gladwell, Malcom: The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference

Golden, Daniel: Spy Schools: How the CIA, FBI, and Foreign Intelligence Secretly Exploit...

Greene, Robert: The 48 Laws of Power

Greene, Robert: The Art of Seduction 

Harris, Sam: Lying

Hewlett, Barry: Hunter-Gatherer Childhoods: Evolutionary, Developmental...

Horwitz, Steven: Hayek's Modern Family: Classical Liberalism and the Evolution of Social..

Hrdy, Sarah: Mother Nature: Maternal Instincts and How They Shape the Human Species

Hrdy, Sarah: The Woman That Never Evolved

Ibrahim, Zuraidah: Lee Kuan Yew: Hard Truths to Keep Singapore Going

Jensen, Barbara: Reading Classes

Katie, Byron: Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

Kelly, Dr. Robert L.: The Lifeways of Hunter-Gatherers: The Foraging Spectrum

Kornblut, Anne: Notes from the Cracked Ceiling: Hillary Clinton, Sarah Palin, and What it...

Kraybill, Donald B: The Amish and the State

Lander, Christian: Stuff White People Like: A Definitive Guide to the Unique Taste of Millions

Locke, John: A Letter Concerning Toleration: Humbly Submitted

MacDonald, Kevin B.:  A People that Shall Dwell Alone: Judaism as a Group…

MacDonald, Kevin: Separation and Its Discontents Toward an Evolutionary Theory of…

MacDonald, Kevin: The Culture of Critique: An Evolutionary Analysis of Jewish…

Machiavelli, Niccolo: The Prince

Mann, Frederick, The Anatomy of Slavespeak

Maycock, Kendall: Switzerland Culture Smart: The Essential Guide to Customs & Culture

McKibben, Bill: Hope, Human, and Wild: True Stories of Living Lightly on the Earth

Mesquita, Brude Bueno de: The Dictator's Handbook: Why Bad Behavior is Almost Always...

Miele, Frank: Intelligence, Race, and Genetics: Conversations with Arthur R.

More, Thomas: Utopia

Murray, Charles: Human Diversity: The Biology of Gender, Race and Class

Muterspaw, Rodney: The Blue View: The Uncut Journal of an Ohio Police

Nearing, Helen: The Good Life: Helen and Scott Nearing's Sixty Years of Self-Sufficient Living

Nietzsche, Friedrich: Human, All Too Human

Nietzsche, Friedrich: On the Genealogy of Morality & Other Writings

Nietzsche, Friedrich: Thus Spoke Zarathustra

Nietzsche, Friedrich: Twilight of the Idols

Olmstead, Larry: Real Food/Fake Food: Why You Don't Know What You're Eating and...

Ortega y Gasset, Jose: The Revolt of the Masses

Peikoff, Leonard: The DIM Hypothesis: Why the Lights of the West Are Going Out

Peterson, Jordan B. 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos

Peterson, Jordan B.: Beyond Order: 12 More Rules For Life

Plato: Apology

Plato: Crito

Plato: Republic

Plato: The Trial and Death of Socrates

Redbeard, Ragnar: Might is Right

Redbeard, Ragnar: The Sayings of Redbeard

Roraff, Susan: Culture Shock! Chile

Rothbard, Murray N.: For a New Liberty: The Libertarian Manifesto

Rushton, Philippe J.: Race, Evolution, and Behavior: A Life History

Schmidtz, David and Robert E. Goodin: Social Welfare and Individual Responsibility

Sowell, Thomas: Intellectuals and Race

Sowell, Thomas: Intellectuals and Society

Stanley, Thomas: The Millionaire Next Door: The Surprising Secrets of America's Wealthy

Szasz, Thomas: The Medicalization of Everyday Life: Selected Essays

Szasz, Thomas: The Myth of Psychotherapy

Taleb, Nassim Nicholas: Antifragile: Things That Gain from Disorder

Taylor, Edmond: The Fall of the Dynasties: The Collapse of the Old Order 1905-1922

Thoreau, Henry David: Walden

Thorndike Jr., Joseph J.: The very Rich: A History of Wealth

Thornton, Allen: Laws of the Jungle

Triandis, Harry C: Individualism and Collectivism

Unwin, J.D.: Sex and Culture

Wade, Nicholas: A Troublesome Inheritance: Genes, Race, and Human History

West, J.B.: Upstairs at the Whitehouse: My Life with the First Ladies

Yew, Lee Kuan: From Third World to First: The Singapore Story 1965-2000

Zelizer, Viviana A.: Pricing the Priceless Child: The Changing Social Value of

Zilg, Gerlad Colby: Dupont: Behind the Nylon Curtain

 

ON *HISTORY, *ANTHROPOLOGY

Adams, Simon: Illustrated Atlas of World History

Anonymous: The Saga of the Volsungs

Aries, Philippe: Centuries of Childhood: A Social History of Family Life

Armour, Margaret: The Song of the Nibelungs

Artisson, Robin: The Words of Odin: A New Rendering of Havamal for the Present Age

Asala, Joanne: Swedish Proverbs

Bauer, Susan Wise: The History of the Medieval World: From the Conversion

Beck, Martha N.: Leaving the Saints: How I Lost the Mormons and Found My Faith

Belt, Thomas: The Naturalist in Nicaragua

Biale, David: Hasidism: A New History

Brown, Nancy Marie: The Far Traveler: Voyages of a Viking Woman

Boehm, Christopher: Hierarchy in the Forest: The Evolution of Egalitarian Behavior

Byock, Jesse L.: Viking Age Iceland

Cable, Mary: The Little Darlings: A History of Child Rearing in America

Campbell, Duncan B.: Mons Graupius AD 83: Rome's Battle at the Edge of the World

Campbell, Joeseph: The Hero With a Thousand Faces

Campbell, Joeseph: The Power of Myth

Carver, Martin: The Cross Goes North: Processes of Conversion in Northern Europe, AD 300-1300

Cassidy, Tina: Birth: The Surprising History of How We Are Born

Clark, Gregory: The Son Also Rises: Surnames and the History of Social Mobility

Cohen, Shayne J.D.: The Jewish Family in Antiquity

Coontz, Stephanie: Marriage, a History: From Obedience to Intimacy or How Love Conquered...

Dando-Collins, Stephen: Tycoon's War: How Cornelius Vanderbilt Invaded a Country to...

DeMause, Lloyd: The History of Childhood: The Untold Story of Child Abuse

Diamond, Jared: Guns, Germs, and Steel

Diamond, Jared: Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed

Dolin, Eric Jay: Black Flags, Blue Waters: The Epic History of America’s Most

Du Maurier, Daphne: The Winding Stair: Francis Bacon, His Rise and Fall

Du Maurier, Daphne: Golden Lads: Francis Bacon, Anthony Bacon, and Their

Ehrman, Bart D.: The Triumph of Christianity: How a Small Band of Outcasts Conquered...

Erasmus: A Handbook on Good Manners for Children

Fox, Mary Virginia: Scheduling the Heavens: The Story of Edmond Halley

Foucault, Michel: Discipline and Punish

Foucault, Michel: The History of Sexuality 1: An Introduction

Fukuyama, Francis: The Origins of Political Order: From Prehuman Times to the French...

Gatto, John Taylor: The Underground History of American Education

Gayre, Robert: Brewing Mead: Wassail! In Masers of Mead: The Intriguing History of the...

Gottwald, Norman K.: The Hebrew Bible: A Brief Socio-Literary Introduction

Greenblatt, Stephen: The Swerve: How the World Became Modern

Henderson, Ernest Flagg: A History of Germany in the Middle Ages

Hewlett, Barry: Hunter-Gatherer Childhoods: Evolutionary, Developmental...

Hill, John: The Old Man’s Guide to Health Longer Life

Horace: Satires, Epistles, and Ars Poetica

Hofstadter, Richard: Anti-Intellectualism in American Life

Hrdy, Sarah: Mother Nature: Maternal Instincts and How They Shape the Human Species

Hrdy, Sarah: The Woman That Never Evolved

Hushcroft, Richard: Expulsion: England’s Jewish Solution

Ingall, Marjorie: Mamaleh Knows Best: What Jewish Mothers Do to Raise Successful...

Iserbyt, Charlotte Thomson: The Deliberate Dumbing Down of America...

Dr. Robert L. Kelly: The Lifeways of Hunter-Gatherers: The Foraging Spectrum

Kevill-Davies, Sally: Yesterday's Children: The Antiques And History Of Childcare

Kenyon-Rouvinez, Denise H.: Sharing Wisdom, Building Values: Letters from Family...

Kirkby, Mary-Ann: I Am Hutterite: The Fascinating True Story of a Young

Kraybill, Donald B: The Amish and the State

Lee, Richard B.: The Cambridge Encyclopedia of Hunters and Gatherers

Macaulay, David: Castle

MacDonald, Kevin B.:  A People that Shall Dwell Alone: Judaism as a Group…

Magnus, Olaus: Olaus Magnus, a Description of the Northern Peoples, 1555…

Malinowshi, Bronislaw: The Sexual Life of Savages

McEvedy, Colin: New Penguin Atlas of Ancient History

McMahon, Darrin M.: Divine Fury: A History of Genius

McMahon, Darrin M.: Happiness: A History

McNally, Michael: Teutoburg Forest AD 9: The Destruction of Varus and His Legions

Miller, Serena B.: More than Happy: The Wisdom of Amish Parenting

Milton, Giles: White Gold: The Extraordinary Story of Thomas Pellow

Mintz, Sisney: Sweetness and Power: The Place of Sugar in Modern History

Mintz, Steven: Huck's Raft: A History of American Childhood

Monmouth, Geoffrey of: The History of the Kings of Britain

Murray, Charles: Coming Apart: The State of White America, 1960-2010

Nearing, Helen: The Good Life: Helen and Scott Nearing's Sixty Years of Self-Sufficient Living

Nietzsche, Friedrich: Philosophy in the Tragic Age of the Greeks

Oliver, Neil: A History of Ancient Britain

Ortega y Gasset, Jose: The Revolt of the Masses

Pitzer, Andrea: Icebound: Shipwrecked at the Edge of the World

Plutarch: Plutarch’s Lives

Rose, Elizabeth R.: A Mother's Job: The History of Day Care, 1890-1960

Rushton, Philippe J.: Race, Evolution, and Behavior: A Life History

Sawyer, Birgit: Medieval Scandinavia: From Conversion to Reformation…

Siepel, Kevin H: Conquistador Voices I

Siepel, Kevin H: Conquistador Voices II

Sloane, Eric: A Reverence for Wood

Sloane, Eric: Diary of an Early American Boy

Southern, Ed: The Jamestown Adventure: Accounts of the Virginia Colony

Sowell, Thomas: Intellectuals and Race

Snorri, Sturluson: The Prose Edda

Sykes, Bryan: Saxons, Vikings, and Celts: The Genetic Roots of Britain and Ireland

Tacitus: Agricola / Germania / Dialogue on Oratory

Tannahill, Reay: Food in History 

Taylor, Edmond: The Fall of the Dynasties: The Collapse of the Old Order 1905-1922

Thorndike Jr., Joseph J.: The very Rich: A History of Wealth

Tobin, Joseph: Preschool in Three Cultures Revisited: China, Japan, and the United States

Tovey, D’Blossiers: Anglia Judaica, or A History of the Jews in England

Trumble, Angus: A Brief History of the Smile 

Unwin, J.D.: Sex and Culture

Wesner, Erik: Success Made Simple: An Inside Look at Why Amish Businesses

West, J.B.: Upstairs at the Whitehouse: My Life with the First Ladies

Willard, Nancy: Cracked Corn and Snow Ice Cream: A Family Almanac

Zaske, Sara: Achtung Baby: An American Mom on the German Art of Raising…

Zelizer, Viviana A.: Pricing the Priceless Child: The Changing Social Value of

documentaries

Busting Out (dir Tom Leykis)

Celtic Legends: Irish Legends

Celtic Legends: Scottish Legends

Christmas Unwrapped: The History of Christmas (History Channel)

Dark Age England

Dog Town and Z Boys

Jones, Terry: Ancient World

Jones, Terry: Barbarians

Jones, Terry: Medieval Lives

Jones, Terry: The Story of 1

Mythos I, II, and III

Religion in the Viking Age (dir Hurstwic Thorlief)

Stonehenge Decoded

The 1900 House (series)

The Dark Ages

The Shape of the Soul: The Viking Mind and the Individual (Cornell University YouTube)

The Viking Age: The Story of Civilization

The Vikings (Nova)

Zeitgeist: The Movie

ON *BIOGRAPHIES, *AUTOBRIOGRAPHES

Baxter, Roberta: Skeptical Chemist: The Story of Robert Boyle

Beale, Fleur: Sins of the Father: The Long Shadow of a Religious Cult

Beck, Martha N.: Leaving the Saints: How I Lost the Mormons and Found My Faith

Boland, Sue Erikson: In the Shadow of Fame

Branden, Nathaniel: My Years With Ayn Rand

Dando-Collins, Stephen: Tycoon's War: How Cornelius Vanderbilt Invaded a Country to...

Drummond, Ree: Frontier Follies: Adventures in Marriage & Motherhood in the…

Du Maurier, Daphne: The Winding Stair: Francis Bacon, His Rise and Fall

Du Maurier, Daphne: Golden Lads: Francis Bacon, Anthony Bacon, and Their

Graber, Rebecca Borntrager: My Amish Story: Breaking Generations of Silence

Feldman, Deborah: Unorthodox: The scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots

Fey, Tina: Bossypants

Iger, Robert: The Ride of a Lifetime: Lessons Learned from 15 Years as the CEO

Kendrick, Anna: Scrappy Little Nobody

Kenyon-Rouvinez, Denise H.: Sharing Wisdom, Building Values: Letters from Family...

Kirkby, Mary-Ann: I Am Hutterite: The Fascinating True Story of a Young

Madison, Holly: Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary

Moorjani, Anita: Dying to Be Me: My Journey from Cancer, to Near Death, to True Healing

Morgan, Hilarie Burton: The Rural Diaries: Love, Livestock, and Big Life Lessons

Muterspaw, Rodney: The Blue View: The Uncut Journal of an Ohio Police

Nearing, Helen: The Good Life: Helen and Scott Nearing's Sixty Years of Self-Sufficient Living

Shames, Laurence: Not Fade Away: A Short Life Well Lived

Smith, Patrick: Cockpit Confidential: Everything You Need to Know About Air Travel...

Swann, Saskia: Above and Beyond: Secrets of a Private Flight Attendant

Taraborrelli, J. Randy: The Hiltons: A Family Dynasty

Thoreau, Henry David: Walden

Vance, Aslee: Elon Musk: Tesla, SpaceX and the Quest for a Fantastic Future

Vincent, Peggy: Baby Catcher: Chronicles of a Modern Midwife

Waldman, Ayelet: Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and...

Wallace, David Foster: A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again

West, J.B.: Upstairs at the Whitehouse: My Life with the First Ladies

Westover, Tara: Educated

Zilg, Gerlad Colby: Dupont: Behind the Nylon Curtain

 

ON *ECONOMICS, *MONEY, *BUSINESS, *POLITICS, *SOCIETY

Allen, David: Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress Free Productivity

Angus, Patricia: Pritzker Family Enterprise: A Family Governance Case Study

Assange, Julian: When Google Met Wikileaks

Beck, Martha N.: Leaving the Saints: How I Lost the Mormons and Found My Faith

Benedict, Jeff: The Mormon Way of Doing Business: Leadership and Success

Biale, David: Hasidism: A New History

Block, Walter: The Case for Discrimination

Bodnar, Janet: Raising Money Smart Kids: What They Need to Know About Money and How...

Bonner, Bill: Family Fortunes: How to Build Family Wealth and Hold on to It for 100 Years

Boothman, Nicholas: How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less

Campidonica, Anthony C.: Outsmarting the System: Lower Your Taxes...

Carlyle, Thomas: On Heroes, Hero Worship and the Heroic in History

Christakis, Nicholas A.: Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How...

Cialdini, Robert B.: Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion

Cicero, Quintus Tullius: How to Win an Election

Clark, Gregory: The Son Also Rises: Surnames and the History of Social Mobility

Clason, George S.: The Richest Man in Babylon

Collins, Skyler J.: Everything Voluntary: From Politics to Parenting

Craker, Lorilee: Money Secrets of the Amish: Finding True Abundance in

Dando-Collins, Stephen: Tycoon's War: How Cornelius Vanderbilt Invaded a Country to...

Dennis, Felix: How to Get Rich

Diamond, Jared: Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed

Downs, Paul: Boss Life: Surviving My Own Small Business

Duke, Annie: Thinking in Bets: Making Smarter Decisions When You Don’t

Ehrman, Bart D.: The Triumph of Christianity: How a Small Band of Outcasts Conquered...

Eker, T. Harv: Secrets of the Millionaire Mind: Mastering the Inner Game of Wealth

Epicurus: The Essential Epicurus

Erasmus: A Handbook on Good Manners for Children

Graber, Rebecca Borntrager: My Amish Story: Breaking Generations of Silence

Feldman, Deborah: Unorthodox: The scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots

Ferriss, Timothy: The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich

Fey, Tina: Bossypants

Fussell, Paul: Class: A Guide Through the American Status System

Gladwell, Malcom: Outliers: The Story of Success

Gladwell, Malcom: The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference

Godfrey, Joline: Raising Financially Fit Kids

Golden, Daniel: Spy Schools: How the CIA, FBI, and Foreign Intelligence Secretly Exploit...

Havelock, Ronald: The Change Agent's Guide to Innovation in Education

Herrnstein, Richard J.: The Bell Curve: Intelligence and Class Structure in American Life

Ibrahim, Zuraidah: Lee Kuan Yew: Hard Truths to Keep Singapore Going

Iger, Robert: The Ride of a Lifetime: Lessons Learned from 15 Years as the CEO

Iserbyt, Charlotte Thomson: The Deliberate Dumbing Down of America...

Jensen, Barbara: Reading Classes

Kelly, Dr. Robert L: The Lifeways of Hunter-Gatherers: The Foraging Spectrum

Kenyon-Rouvinez, Denise H.: Sharing Wisdom, Building Values: Letters from Family...

Kiyosaki, Robert T: Rich Dad's Escape from the Rat Race: How to Become a Rich Kid by...

Kiyosaki, Robert T: Rich Dad, Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Children About Money...

Kiyosaki, Robert T: Rich Dad, Poor Dad 2: Cash Flow Quadrant - Rich Dad's Guide to...

Kohlberg, Lawrence: The Philosophy of Moral Development: Moral Stages and the Idea of Justice

Lansberg, Ivan: Succeeding Generations: Realizing the Dream of Families in Business

Lindstrom, Martin: Brandwashed: Tricks Companies Use to Manipulate Our Minds and...

Luskin, Donald: I am John Galt: Today's Heroic Innovators Building the World...

MacDonald, Kevin B.:  A People that Shall Dwell Alone: Judaism as a Group…

MacDonald, Kevin: Separation and Its Discontents Toward an Evolutionary Theory of…

MacDonald, Kevin: The Culture of Critique: An Evolutionary Analysis of Jewish…

Machiavelli, Niccolo: The Prince

Madison, Holly: Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary

Mann, Frederick, The Anatomy of Slavespeak

McKibben, Bill: Hope, Human, and Wild: True Stories of Living Lightly on the Earth

Mesquita, Brude Bueno de: The Dictator's Handbook: Why Bad Behavior is Almost Always...

Nearing, Helen: The Good Life: Helen and Scott Nearing's Sixty Years of Self-Sufficient Living

Nietzsche, Friedrich: On the Genealogy of Morality & Other Writings

Nietzsche, Friedrich: Philosophy in the Tragic Age of the Greeks

Nietzsche, Friedrich: Thus Spoke Zarathustra

Nietzsche, Friedrich: Twilight of the Idols

Nietzsche, Friedrich: Human, All Too Human

Orman, Suze: The Courage to Be Rich

Orman, Suze: The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous & Broke

Orman, Suze: Women & Money: Owning the Power to Control Your Destiny

Ortega y Gasset, Jose: The Revolt of the Masses

Owen, David: The First National Bank of Dad: The Best Way to Teach Kids About Money

Paul, Ron: Liberty Defined: 50 Essential Issues That Affect Our Freedom

Pitzer, Andrea: Icebound: Shipwrecked at the Edge of the World

Redbeard, Ragnar: Might is Right

Redbeard, Ragnar: The Sayings of Redbeard

Robinett, Judy: How to Be a Power Connector: The 5 + 50 + 100 Rule for Turning Your...

Robinson, Bryan E.: Chained to the Desk: A Guidebook for Workaholics, Their Partners...

Rose, Larken: How to Be a Successful Tyrant: The Megalomaniac Manifesto

Rothbard, Murray N.: For a New Liberty: The Libertarian Manifesto

Salatin, Joel: Everything I Want to Do Is Illegal: War Stories from the Local Food Front

Schiff, Irwin: How an Economy Grows and Why It Doesn't

Sowell, Thomas: Intellectuals and Race

Sowell, Thomas: Intellectuals and Society

Stanley, Thomas: The Millionaire Next Door: The Surprising Secrets of America's Wealthy

Swann, Saskia: Above and Beyond: Secrets of a Private Flight Attendant

Taleb, Nassim Nicholas: Antifragile: Things That Gain from Disorder

Taraborrelli, J. Randy: The Hiltons: A Family Dynasty

Taylor, Edmond: The Fall of the Dynasties: The Collapse of the Old Order 1905-1922

Thorndike Jr., Joseph J.: The very Rich: A History of Wealth

Tracy, Brian: The 21 Success Secrets of Self-Made Millionaires: How to Achieve Financial...

Triandis, Harry C: Individualism and Collectivism

Unwin, J.D.: Sex and Culture

Vance, Aslee: Elon Musk: Tesla, SpaceX and the Quest for a Fantastic Future

Wade, Nicholas: A Troublesome Inheritance: Genes, Race, and Human History

Wesner, Erik: Success Made Simple: An Inside Look at Why Amish Businesses

West, J.B.: Upstairs at the Whitehouse: My Life with the First Ladies

Wu, Tim: The Attention Merchants: The Epic Scramble to Get Inside Our Heads

Zilg, Gerlad Colby: Dupont: Behind the Nylon Curtain

documentaries

Bowling for Columbine

In Debt We Trust

Justice with Micheal Sandel (Harvard University via iTunes University lecture series)

Maxed Out

No Impact Man

Religulous

This Film Is Not Yet Rated

 

ON *ART, *OBJECTIVE BEAUTY, *SELF-PRESENTATION, *ARCHITECTURE

Alexander, Christopher: A Pattern Language: Towns, Buildings, Construction

Alexander, Christopher: The Battle for the Life and Beauty of the Earth

Alexander, Christopher: The Phenomenon of Life

Alexander, Christopher: The Process of Creating Life

Begoun, Paula: Don't Go to the Cosmetics Counter Without Me: A Unique Guide to Over...

Begoun, Paula: Don't Go Shopping for Hair-Care Products Without Me: Over 4,000...

Begoun, Paula: The Original Beauty Bible: Skin Care Facts for Ageless Beauty

Etcoff, Nancy: Survival of the Prettiest: The Science of Beauty

Hagen, Uta: A Challenge for the Actor

Halbreich, Betty: Secrets of a Fashion Therapist: What You Can Learn Behind the Dressing...

Johnson, Dr. June: You Look Great, But How Do You Sound?

Kingston, Karen: Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui

Olsen, Scot: The Golden Section: Nature's Greatest Secret

Pollan, Michael: A Place of My Own: The Education of an Amateur Builder

Rand, Ayn: The Romantic Manifesto

Sloane, Eric: A Reverence for Wood

Torres, Louis: What Art Is: The Esthetic Theory of Ayn Rand

Pollio, Vitruvius: Vitruvius, the Ten Books on Architecture

ON *OLD AGE, *DEATH, *MORTALITY

Aries, Philippe: The Hour of Our Death

Aurelius, Marcus: Meditations

Brombert, Victor: Musings on Mortality: From Tolstoy to Primo Levi

Campbell, Joeseph: The Hero With a Thousand Faces

Campbell, Joeseph: The Power of Myth

Cicero, Quintus Tullius: Treatises on Friendship and Old Age

Dawkins, Richard: The Selfish Gene

Erikson, Erik H.: The Life Cycle Completed

Kubler-Ross, Elisabeth: Death: The final Stage of Growth

Moorjani, Anita: Dying to Be Me: My Journey from Cancer, to Near Death, to True Healing

Pausch, Randy: The Last Lecture

Rinpoche, Sogyal: The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying

Seneca: On the Shortness of Life

Nietzsche, Friedrich: Twilight of the Idols

documentaries

If You're Not In the Orbit, Eat Breakfast

 

IMPORTANT *FICTION

Allen, JP: Giraffe Juice: The Magic of Making Life Wonderful

Clavell, James: The Children's Story

Heinlein, Robert: The Moon is a Harsh Mistress

Homer: The Iliad

Huxley, Aldous: Brave New World

Orwell, George: Animal Farm

Rand, Ayn: Atlas Shrugged

Rand, Ayn: The Fountainhead

Rand, Ayn: The Night of January 16th

Rand, Ayn: Three Plays

Tolkien, J.R.R.: The Hobbit

Tolkien, J.R.R.: The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

Wilder, Laura Ingles: Little House in the Big Woods

Wilder, Laura Ingles: Little House on the Prarie

Wilder, Laura Ingles: On the Banks of Plum Creek

Wilder, Laura Ingles: By The Shores of Silver Lake

Wilder, Laura Ingles: The long Winter

Wilder, Laura Ingles: Little Town on the Prarie

Wilder, Laura Ingles: These Happy Golden Years

Wilder, Laura Ingles: The First Four Years

Wilder, Laura Ingles: Farmer Boy

Unknown: Sir Gawain and the Green Knight (Tolkien translation)

Zamyatin, Yevgeny: We